Selfish & Giving

There must be selfish people in our society for us to survive , it is a necessity or else we'd all be givers with no one actually taking anything. We all know there should be a fine line between being too selfish and too giving but who the hell can find the fine line. I've always been the worst at finding that line. As I get relaxed in a relationship I tend become the taker but as I've grown older I've definitely improved 10 fold in the giving department.

I learned a lot from my relationship with Erica in the beginning I was the king of taking any and all attention she would give me and not returning it. As our relationship went on she started to not give as much as she used to so I learned I needed to give in order to receive (I'm not talking about oral pleasures so relax haha)

I think the reason I was/kind of am selfish is because I constantly need attention. I usually need to be the center of attention or else I feel like a nobody. I hate to settle into mediocrity. I want to be the person you meet in life that isn't famous but you'll remember forever. I love entertaining people and making them laugh. I love getting manly men pissed off when I pretend I'm gay or do something androgynous. So the attention I crave goes hand and hand with my selfishness because I need to feel super special.

I've definitely been working on getting better as a person as I grow closer to deaths door. I actually find a lot of satisfaction in giving to others and seeing their responses and reactions. I love giving surprises because I'm getting a surprise in return by seeing their excitement & joy on their faces and body language. Man I sound like a freakin loser homo huh?!?!? haha =)

Guys and Girls the moral of this story is to give and to take - but also try and find the fine line that is there that I have such trouble finding! May I be in your thoughts and prayers as I settle into obscurity.

Checkout the new photo set of white trashness in the recording studio!

Selfishly Giving,
Gregg