Brian Tate Memorial

I just found out today that my twin Brian from work will no longer be working with me anymore because of budget cuts. They are getting rid of all unnecessary temps so they "discarded" him today. He wasn't too bummed about it. He's actually looking forward to having some free time to snowboard, go out with his college friends and sing Bright Eyes cover songs at the local coffee houses.

When a friend of yours doesn't work with you anymore it's almost like breaking up with someone. You're so used to seeing that person everyday and then one day they have to pick up their things and leave. You go from a routine to having to find someone new to fill that void that the routine was once in.

Change is good and kind of sucks. It's good in that if your leaving a situation you're not happy with then hopefully the new situation will bring some good luck joy club. Brian is a cool dude even if he is all "California'd Out". He may sound like the male version of Paris Hilton "Hey Braaaah" but he gets 5 purple flowers in my book of daisy's anyday!

Brian and I were the only white people in my little group of 8. Now I'm the only white person. It's not that weird being the only white dude in the group because except for the food my co-workers eat we all pretty much like the same shit. We all like Borat and we all hate Bush!

So to my man Brian Tate Good luck with your life and may all of your dreams of one day getting the chance to drink toilet water from an unknown bathroom stall for $1 Million come true! You're a cool dude with a cool haircut. You look like me but that's about it. You're probably lucky you don't have the same personality as me or else everyone would thing you're a "fag"! Thank your mom and tell her to send you a few hundred bucks so you can pay you're fucking rent you LUSH!?!?!?

gso

New Camera! New Photos! New Video!

For Christmas my mom purchased me a Sony DSC-T10. It's very sleek and sexy. It's super easy to operate and the photos come out pretty good. I still need to get a Sony memory stick so I can take more photos with the camera before unloading them onto the computer. I also have to learn how to take good photos cause I kind of suck at it.

Here are some photos I took the day I got my new little baby. Most of the photos are inspired by Dirty Laundry!

I wanted to try out the video recording on it. I recorded a 30 second clip that after watching is really how a day in the life at home is here at the O'Connell/Ignacio Household. It's nothing but crazy voices, dogs, loud TV's & pajamas.

I Can Hear You Talking to me in Your Sleep...

Mendy! Mendy! Mendy! Emily said I was saying this girl's name in my sleep the other day. Emily's like "Who's Mendy" I'm like "uhhh what?" Emily goes "You were saying "Mendy! Mendy in your sleep." I thought long and hard about it and I couldn't think of anyone named Mendy. Is Mendy even a real person's name? Does anyone have that name?!?!?!?
Every girl I know is Asian with a white girl's name like "Emily, Christina or Sin Chu"

People talking in their sleep has always kind of scared me. I remember as a young little boy man when my sister or mom would talk in their sleep. They'd be saying something like "Joey I'm gonna bring the eggs to the party" ha ha I'd be like "Mom what...what did you just say?" They'd even talk back but in an angry voice "I SAID I'M GONNA PUT MY SHOES ON AND TALK TO HIM"
The second sentence would always be even more weird because it usually had nothing to do with the first sentence. It would take me a few sentences to realize that they were actually just talking in their sleep. How come when they'd wake up and you'd tell them they were talking in their sleep they'd have no recollection of saying anything? Fucking spooky isn't it!

Their voice always sounds like more of a mumble than clean through. I feel like if the dead could talk to us it would sound like a person talking in their sleep making little to no sense at all & saying someones name that we don't know. The dead person might say "Ahhhhhh Malcolm the cheese in your shoes is lit by the candle light so don't forget to walk the dog" You know just some random crazy bullshit. tuff the dead person understands but to us alive folk sounds like rubbish.

What's the craziest, funniest or weirdest thing you've been told you said in your sleep or heard?

gso

My Will

Since you never know when you are going to die why not write a will now? Especially when at my age you normally wouldn't write one? Plus I am drawing a blank on what to write about. Too many pluses going on here!

If I die the following things I own go to the following people unless the person that is getting something from my will KILLS me then the stuff they were supposed to get goes to my mom and or my sister and/or Emily and or/Erica. Good that should clear up some confusion!

Erica Putis gets:
Herbie (my dog)
my laptop (she needs a computer bad!)
50% of my cothes & shoes (so you can cut them up and make them into cool girls clothes!)


Emily Ignacio gets:
32 inch LCD HDTV
Nintendo Wii & all my Nintendo Wii games/accesories (lucky!)
25 inch Toshiba Low-Def TV (haha luckkky girl!!)
2006 Honda Civic (lucky girl not only do you inherit the car but also the payments!)
50% of my clothes & shoes (you can sleep in my clothes when you have nothing else to wear or if you new boyfriend needs something cozy!)

My Mom gets:
any money I may currently have
The right to bury me or cremate me

My sister gets:
all the Sirius Satellite & Delta Airlines stock I own

My brother gets:
All my guitars
All my guitar accessories
Marshall amp
The rights to all the songs I copyrighted
My iPod

Zdenek Janda gets:
Sony 7.2 megapixel camera (drop that 3 megapixel Fuji in the trash bro)

Bill Kutters gets:
Xbox 360 system , Xbox 360 games & Xbox 360 Accessories(I feel bad for you son. Let me bring you into the digital age!!!)
Left over sunflower seeds, gum or Goldfish on my desk at work (you'd be in heaven son!!!)

If my mom cremates me I want to be buried with my dog herbie or if Herbie is also cremated when he dies then have both of our ashes spread somewhere we both liked.

My website would go to no one. It would just go down once they took it down b/c I hadn't paid the server bill.

The music at my funeral must be Nat King Cole.

what would you will to who???

gso

Xbox 360 Red Ring of Death

I turned on my Xbox 360 today and began downloading a music video from their Live service. As it began downloading I hear 3 beeps and my Xbox froze. I reboot the Xbox and I hear the 3 beeps again. It froze again so I rebooted once more and this time 3 red lights show up on the front of the console. I've read about this before and realize that my console is basically dead.

I call 1-800-4-My-Xbox. I am instructed by the computer operator to unplug my console, detach the harddrive, plug the power back in and turn the console on. I do this and the console boots up but then freezes.

A real live person comes on the phone and realizes my console is completely dead. He takes my info and tells me that my console is still under warranty until December 6 so all repairs and shipping are FREE. The turn around time is about 1-2 weeks.

Even though it's been a sad day so far because I've lost a true friend Xbox 360. There is some light at the end of the tunnel and that is I have a Nintendo Wii to play with and everything regarding my Xbox 360 is FREE.

I'm without a friend for a little while but I will fill it in with interacting with real people and listening to sad music to fill the void. I thought about making learning a trade like how to use a screwdriver or how to hammer in nails but that just seemed to difficult.

Please feel free to comment with get well wishes. I'm a wounded hurt in despair human being right now and I need all the support I can get.

Thanks,

Gregory Shane O'Connell

I'm Thankful For...

Here's a list of things:

I'm Thankful/For...
My dog Herbie
My family for being there when I need them
Having Emily in my life
Having Erica in my life
My friends
Having a job that doesn't make me depressed
My penis works
I have a computer
I have people that comment on everything I put on my website
I don't have a hernia
I don't have cancer
I have an HDTV
I have an Xbox 360 & Nintendo Wii
I have a new Honda Civic
All the music I've found so far in my life that I like
I'm as funny as I am
I'm as handsome as I am
I can play guitar & sing
For girls

What are you thankful for?

gso

Thanksgiving Eve

I just got back from the Matt Pond PA show at Soma in Point Loma. Two shows in one week! It reminds me of myself 1 year ago when I'd go to shows all the time. After the first show this week The Lemonheads my ears rung for 2 days straight. It probably didn't help that we were standing right up front.

Tonight's show had its own drama when someone in the crowd yelled to the band "you suck!" The lead singer for Matt Pond PA is like "whoever just said that should come up to the front of the stage. I'll kick you're fucking ass." It was pretty intense especially for a little Northern Boy like me.

Anyways have a great Thanksgiving guys! Send me photos of you cooking, eating turkey and touching your significant other in places I only dream about!

LOVE GREGORY!

Evan Dando is a Talented Dickhead!

My obsession with Evan Dando who is the frontman of alternative rock band The Lemonheads began in 1996 when I first heard "If I Could Talk I'd Tell You". The sound of his songs were just so easy to like, sing to & relate to for me. After hearing his album "Car Button Cloth" I quickly purchased all singles and albums I could find of The Lemonheads. The reason I began writing the songs like I did back in 2001 was because of Evan Dando.

One of the first and best shows I ever went to was in 2000 when Evan Dando played at the Brattle Theatre. It was an amazing show and he played like 30 songs all solo and acoustic it was awesome! It really blew me away especially his voice & demeanor on stage. He didn't seem contrived like most musicians today. He seems to naturally have that "fuck you" slacker, druggy persona.

I even started a website about Evan Dando & The Lemonheads. It was called EvanLemon.com and was the most popular fansites for him at the time. I would get hundreds of hits a day and I was even in contact with Evan's manager Tom. Tom would always send me any new releases, posters and promo items. It was really cool to be that close to my favorite rock star.

I've seen Evan probably about 10 times in my life. He is definitely one of the moodiest musicians I've ever seen. One show he'll be talking up a storm and seem to be really enjoying himself and the next show he seems really down in the dumps and pissed off. There was this one show at T.T. The Bears in Cambridge, MA and he was outside after the show smoking cigarettes and talking to the crowd outside. A few people asked to be photographed with him. You might be thinking I'm all outgoing and say whatevers on my mind but when it comes to going up to someone and asking them for a photo with them or directions or something I'm pretty shy. So I walk up to Evan and I'm like "Hey Evan I run EvanLemon.com. I really love your music and I was wondering if I could get my photo taken with you". Evan replies "Yeah make it quick!". I'm like fuck dude that's pretty damn rude. It's not like after the photo he ran off to be somewhere. He just sat there and continued to smoke. I'm not saying he owed me a photo or anything but don't be a fucking cocksucker about it when someone asks you for one simple photo.

Last night was the icing on the cake when it comes to bad mood performances. Evan Dando aka The Lemonheads played at Belly Up in Solana Beach, CA. First it took literally like 35 minutes for him to come on stage even after the stage was completely setup. He played maybe 15 songs or a 45 minute set. The only word he said all night to the audience was "Thank You" at the end of the show. He never introduced himself or the songs. Not one time did he look into the crowd. He had his eyes closed the entire performance. His voice sounded kind of weak but overall the new songs sounded really good live and had a lot of energy.

I really don't get him. He has this amazing voice and talent and he has such a bitchy attitude. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love this guy as a musician. His one of my favorites if not my favorite but his attitude really takes away from his performance sometimes. He's not very welcoming to go up to at all. He comes off as a cocky motherfucker. God that sounds like me!

I really hope the next time I see him live that it's a lot like the first time I saw him when he was all cheery, energetic and glad to be on stage. When he plays like he did last night it makes the show a lot more unenjoyable and less satisfying.

Nintendo Wii Love (Update 2)

I woke up at 5:30 am today with excitement and adrenaline running through my teenage body! I went to Target at 8:00 am to pick up a Nintendo Retro Controller :)
Then at 10:00 am I headed over to Toys R Us to pick up my Nintendo Wii console and a copy of Zelda!
I'm going to do multiple updates with videos and photos so check back often!

Secret Santa...Who's in?

Christmas is fast approaching and the greggaholics that visit this site regularly need to join in on the first ever greggoconnell.com secret santa!

Here's how it works. First you leave a comment on this post with if you are interested and what you want. Also email me at gregg@greggoconnell.com with your email address and mailing address. I will close up sign ups on November 25. Then I will be put all the names into a hat and email you who you have along with their email address and mailing address.

Requirements are that you need to spend at least $15 on the person plus mail the gift to the person. That's it!

Who's in?!?!

If you want to exchange gifts with me personally you can email me at gregg@greggoconnell.com.

You love Christmas! If you're Jewish you're still welcome to join in!!!

gso

I Love to Bicker!

Bicker is defined as "quibble: argue over petty things;" I love to bicker so much I'll sometimes go out of my way to start something with someone so that I can keep myself from being bored. Do you do that too? It's safe to say bickering is a hobby of mine.

I don't know if it's cause I like the attention I'm getting from the other person or what? It just is fun for me. It bothers most people. Like when I bicker with a girl the girl usually gets all whiney and bitchy. When they get like this it just makes me want to bicker even more. It's high like the kind of high a teenager gets when they huff from a can of shaving cream. Come on don't act like you don't huff after every time you shave your hairy legs!

Bickering also relieves a lot of stress that we as human keep inside. I feel like it sheds a layer of skin for us that otherwise would just lay there dormat for years until we exploded like a teenage boy all over girlfriends face for the first time. It'd be messy, dirty & smell like fish and uncooked hamburger.

Some of my best and most intense bickering has been with Erica Putis. She's so easy to get wound up and into a bickering match. I'd start by just being bored and following her around the house. Next I'd say or do something obnoxious like make some weird noise like I was a sea otter. I really am making myself sound like an immature fool punk teenager but come on this is who I am. I can't make everyone happy. I feel like you should make yourself happy then animals then people that aren't your kids. Kids always come first unless you're a single parent and haven't had a night out in 275 days then you put your Willy Wonka in charge!

So if you see me in the comments section of my blog or someone elses blog saying something to get people riled up it usually because I want them to visit my website. But the next reason is because I like bickering with all those retarded Rockstar Mommy fans!

Do you bicker for fun, for real or never at all?

gso

Would You?

I play this game with my friends...Ok they aren't my friends but I pretend I'm friends with them. I ask them ridiculous gross questions and see how much money they would need in order to do whatever I'm asking them.

One of my hot questions a few weeks ago was "Would you cut off your balls and never be able to have sex again for $4 Billion? All the guys answered no. The only way they would is if they were older like 40 years or older. I myself don't think I would actually do it. I love having sex with people. It feels good and it makes my inner warmness burn like a camp side fire with young kids sitting around it singing songs about Jesus. Imagine not being able to get a hard on or having that rush of blood to your pleasure pole when a hot Asian woman walks by wearing some skimpy little skirt and some fuck me boots! Life is all about sex. Everything we do revolves around it. From the clothes we wear, to the car we drive, to the music we listen to. SEX SEX SEX XXX XXX PORN PORN!!! Ha ha I'm going to get so many hits now because I wrote that!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another hot question is when I ask the guys if they'd do some random gay act and for how much money. I love putting them in this nasty gross situations to see how they react. For instance I asked them "Would you let a guy tea bag you for $1 Million? Some guys reluctantly said "yes". When I push the amount to $10 million every single one of those in the closet friends of mine says "yes". So basically if you put enough money on the table you can pretty much turn any straight guy into a full blown homo. Tea bagging for $10 million is a pretty easy task. Sure I'd feel kind of dirty and worthless but I'd be the proud owner of a condo in La Jolla. I'd be driving one of those suped up Honda's that those Asian guys love to mess with. Shit side note I was watching TV today and they said that out of all the races in the USA that Asian households have a net income of $60,000/year compared to Whites with $50,000. Fucking A! Being Asian obviously pays off! Thank God I'm dating an Asian girl! Back to getting tea bagged! I'd let some dude do it. I'd be retired and taking 2 hour naps everyday in between walks with my dog on the tread mill!

I ask them all kinds of random nasty questions. I'll mark a part II of this post if it goes as well as I think it will. You married women really seem to respond to gay stuff and schlongs!

I ask you the same questions...

Would you cut off your balls or if you're a woman something that's the equivalent for $4 Billion?

and

Would you get tea bagged for $1 Million?

gso

Nintendo Wii Hands on Review + Video

I just got back from running with Herbie when I received a call from Bill Kutters. "Hey Greggors you can go play the Wii @ EB Games in Point Loma". I'm thinking to myself "Nooooo wayyyyyy braaahhhhh". So as I get off the phone I'm dripping sweat and semen from the run I just had I yell to Emily "Babe! EB Games down the street has the Wii!" she says "Ok babe but I'm not going anywhere until you get in the shower...no one wants to smell your stinky sweaty bum" So I hop into the shower and lather myself up with Dove soap and Fantastic Sam's shampoo. Oh ya I drained my lizzy before I got in the shower just an FYI. I get out of the shower in record time, dry off, get dressed and head out the door with my little Filipino girlfriend.



It took like 3 minutes to get to EB Games but once I get there I head over to Heaven Gate. and see it in all it's plasticness....awwwww NINTENDO WII!!! I stand there for a few minutes sweating because I just got out of the shower and put on clothes. So the hot water from the shower didn't have time to cool down because I got dressed so quickly so my neck was sweating profusely!

In order to play the Wii at EB you need to give them your license. After you give them that they let you borrow the wireless Wiimote. The only game they had was Excite Truck. Which wouldn't be my first game to play since I'm not really into racing games but nonetheless I got to play the Wii.

In order to play Excite Truck you need to hold the controller sideways and move it like a steering wheel. As I began playing the controls felt really loose and the game seemed kind of hard but after 1 lap I quickly learned just how easy it is to play with the Wiimote. I ended up coming in first which is no surprise to me since I am a "Gamer".

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The console itself is really small and super cool looking. The Wiimote is very responsive, light, rumbles and has a little speaker that has sounds coming out of it. The graphics looked kind of fuzzy but it's because they were using RCA cables on an HDTV. Otherwise the graphics weren't that bad.

I'm very excited to play with my Wii on November 19! You should get a Wii too so that maybe you can be as cool as me but remember you'll never be me because I'm a "Gamer" and you're a housewife with kids!




gso

My 2006 Christmas Wishlist

In no particular order here is my 2006 Christmas wishlist! It's a good thing I'm not Jehovah Witness b/c if I were I wouldn't be getting anything for Christmas! I'm not asking for much...:P

Rolling Stone Magazine Subscription

Sony Playstation 3 - 60gb version

Xbox 360 HD-DVD Player

Schwinn Solution Mountain Bike

Gillette Mach 3 Razors

Sony Cyber-shot DSC-T10 Digital Camera 7.2 MP

QuietComfort 3 Acoustic Noise Cancelling headphones - Silver

Happy Cologne by Clinique 3.4 oz COL Spray

Purpose Moisturizer, Redness Reducing SPF 30, 2.75 fl oz

Large - Black TNA Logo T-Shirt

Gift Certificate to Gap, American Eagle, Macy's, In and Out Burger & iTunes...

Cool thrift store t-shirts

Nude photos of you via email

Black Socks

Boxer Briefs - Large

Zune 30 GB Digital Media Player (Black)

KLH 2.1-Channel Home Theater Speaker System

Merry Christmas List!

gso

The Nintendo Wii Preorder Toys R Us Campout

This goes down as the third video game console launch that I've waited out for. The first one was Xbox 360 which I waited 17 hours in line for. The second one was the Sony PSP which I waited 4 hours for. This morning I waited in line to be able to preorder a Nintendo Wii for a little over 4 hours!

It was only found out last night that Toys R Us was going to announce a second wave of preorders for the Nintendo Wii. It's actually in todays Sunday fliers. So not many people knew about it unless you're like me and you're fucking dork and read video game websites 24/7. So when I read it last night that Toys R Us was doing preorders for next weeks Nintendo Wii launch I yelled to Emily "Hey babe Toys R Us is doing a fucking preorder tomorrow, we should go!".

So at 5:00 am this morning we woke up and decided to go wait in line for the Nintendo Wii. We ended up getting there at like 5:45 am. The first guy to get there was there at 3:00 am. We were the 8th and 9th people in line and there was only 10 preorders. So thank Jesus, God & Mary that we went as early as we did because otherwise we would've been fucked!

So Nintendo Wii is released on November 19, 2006 and I now have no need to wait in line for 17 hours because I can just walk into Toys R Us on Sunday morning and pick up my Wii. I really must Thank Emily my girlfriend of over 250 days for the Nintendo Wii. It's my Christmas gift from her. Guys it just goes to show that you just need to go out into the world or Philippines and find yourself a single Filipino girl as well!

Click here for the Nintendo Wii Preorder Photoset

gso

P.S. Emily is selling her preorder she got for herself in case you want to buy it for a premium :)

Do Candles Make You Gay?

Ever since Yankee Candle got really really popular in the late 90's I've been a big fan of candles. The smell, the color & the ambience they evoke in a room is a magical experience only churches and Priests can recreate.

Some of my favorite candle scents are the fruity ones especially Apple scents. The Apple scented candles give me a good feeling. The same feeling that I get when my balls rub up against the side of my legs on a hot summer day. You know that sticky yet warm sensual feeling?

Back to candles! I also adore the holiday smelling candles. The Christmas scented ones, the pine ones & the mixed ones like Peppermint Cranberry. The only thing kind of sucky about Yankee Candle is that all of the holiday candles, apple candles & the cookie scented candles smell almost exactly the same. It's kind of funny actually they smell the same but they come up with these ridiculous names for them even though they are the same like "Feliz Navidad" & "Sparkling Angel" & "Sparkling Pine". They really just need to sell one candle for Christmas not 20 different named ones that smell alike. It's kind of like someone reading 20 other blogs when they really just need to read mine. We all write about the same shit it's just some blogs "smell" slightly better than the others. My blog smells like country apples...mmmm yummy!

So if a guy likes candles does it make him gay? I don't think so...but I like candles and I also know I'm not a homosexual so maybe I'm not the right person to answer this question. What about in the olden days when candles were used to for lighting a room? Did they make the Pilgrims gay?

gso

Jamboy

My buddy Brian from work and I were talking about if he would do something crazy (the crazy thing I can't remember) for a free vacation and he said "Ya Braaaaahhhh" in all his California swagger. I go would you go on a cruise to the Caribbean? Brian replies with "Ya Braaaahhhh that be cool...hmm nah I'd go to South Africa Braaaahhhh" I'm like "SOUTH AFRICA?!?!? THEY HAVE FUCKIN PIRATES DOWN THERE! REAL LIFE PIRATES!!!"

He tells me that South Africa is really nice. His friends parents went there. "Oh ya they went golfing Braahhhh and the guy behind the counter was like do you guys want a jamboy he's only $5. They didn't know what a jamboy was but they thought since it was only $5 what the hell so they said yes." Come to find out that a jamboy and this is really real true honest to God true shit..."Historic word for ethnic people, who were employed by rich white folk. They would follow around their masters with jam smothered on their faces in order to keep the flies off them while they played golf in hot countries"

Isn't that really fucked up?!?!? I could and would never (unless for he right price....no not $5!!!) do that. How can you degrade yourself like that? Believe it or not I have too much fuckin pride to be someone else's jamboy"! Shit I would've gotten a job at the local South African Mickey D's rather than smother jam all over my face for some white dude so that they flies attack me and not him. Uhhh I'd end up kicking the golfers ass by the 2nd hole! Well I would've probably kicked the golfer in the leg and ran away as fast as I could but that's beside the point...or is it?

The shit I tell you guys like "jamboy" and "thizz face" is really keeping you peeps up to date with all this slang talk that you dudes ain't be knowin' bout! You'd be so left out in the cold at the workplace water cooler, but now you can be the one telling stories about getting all "Thizzed out" last weekend or about the time you went golfing in South Africa and had your own "jamboy". Even if you don't golf or haven't been to South Africa just lie it's cool everyone does it!

Will The Real Gregg O'Connell Please Stand Up!

Here's your chance to get to know me a little better. Easy ladies I'm taken! It doesn't mean I won't accept gifts though :P

1. What is your occupation? Account Transfers Associate...Basically I process Mutual Funds! No I'm not rich nor can I tell you how to invest your money!

2. What color are your socks right now? Black Socks...Once you go black you never go back!

3. What are you listening to right now? I can hear the lady on QVC talking and for music I have The Whitest Boy Alive on singing "Burning"

4. What was the last thing you ate? Apple-Peach Pie from Julian Pie Co. mmmmm yummy!!!

5. Can you drive a stick shift? No..I'm such a loser for the male race :(

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Seth. He asked me for a ride via text message so I called him back saying "yes" damn him!!!

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes Erica is a swell gal with a crazy as dog!

9. How old are you today? 26 years 8 months and 2 days

10. Favorite drink: Hmm it depends on my mood but I love bottled spring water, Propel, Sprite & many juice drinks :)

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? I guess football or basketball. Fuck the jocks!!!

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes. But I look mega gay when I do it cause I frost the tips like Mark Mcgrath used to!

13. Pets? Herbie (dog) & I've since adopted 2 cats (black one and furry one)

14. Favorite food? Probably pizza. A good pizza can give me a hard-on.

15. What was the last movie you watched? My name a Borat! Fuckin Borat you motherfucker! Go see it! It's easily the funniest movie of the last couple years.

16. Favorite day of the year? This is a tough one...I'd have to go with Christmas or my birthday because I love receiving presents. Hint Hint!

17. What do you do to vent anger? I usually punch the wall really hard or kick my girlfriend in her pregnant stomach Ha ha nosa I usually listen to music or go excercise...

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? My GI Joe guys or my Pet Monster b/c I used to pretend they were WWE wrestlers. I used to totally wrestle My Pet Monster on my bed haha!

19. What is your favorite - Autumn b/c it's cooler and the leaves are changing. It makes me want to change something about me too and everyone close to me knows how much I love to change!

20. Hugs or kisses? Kisses because I like being physically affectionate with my mouth. hint hint!

21. Living arrangements: San Diego, CA with my girlfriend Emily, 2 cats, a beta fish and a dog.

22. When was the last time you cried? God I don't know probably the next to last day I was in Massachusetts. My family had just thrown me a goodbye party.

23. What is on the floor of your closet? Old computer, some clothes and random boxes

24. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
well since this is really supposed to go via email then I guess I'll pick who I think the first person to comment will be and I'll go with Julianne B or Dirty!

25. What did you do last night? I went to the gym, showered, ate dinner & made dirty love for like 7 minutes :)

26. Favorite smells? My sweaty balls & fruity smells

27. What inspires you? Watching bands on TV. It makes me want to get out there and play a righteous rock show!

28. What are you afraid of? What aren't I afraid of? Read this!

29. Plain cheese or spicy hamburgers? A plain cheeseburger is king in my mouth!

30. Favorite dog breed? Smini-schnauzers b/c they look like old men from the north and they have the bestest personalities!

31. Number of keys on your key ring? 4 I believe

32. How many years at your current job? 1 year and a few months

33. Favorite day of the week? Saturday b/c I can sleep in until 6:00 am and go to bed whenever I want!!!

34. How many states have you lived in? 2 (Massachusetts & California)

35. Favorite holidays? Now it'd be weird if I said anything other than Christmas and my birthday. I also like Thanksgiving and Halloween :)

36. Ever driven a motorcycle or heavy machinery? Nope remember I'm kind of a little bitch and scared of everything.

YOUR TURN NOW!!! I WANNA KNOW THE REAL YOU!!!

gso

Is Dead Really Dead?

When I was a 5 year old little Greggie Poopy Pants I finally realized that we don't live forever and that we actually die. My brother told me this. So I ran upstairs and started banging on my mom's bedroom door "Mom I DON' WANNA DIE....I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!" I was balling like a fat kid who missed out on the limited time McRib at McDonalds.

This is the first major thing I can remember being scared of. I also remember being scared of our cat for some reason. Ha ha she used to chase me around in a circle and I used to scream like a little girl. It's weird because growing up I ended up loving cats. Anyways back to the topic "DEATH!!!"

I think "DEATH" is where all my fears derive from. I've been scared to death of death since the age of 5. It kind of sucks to think that one day you will die and will be no more. Like you just end...You go from having sex with some hot stud with a 7 inch cock in your ass to laying in a casket 6 feet underground with worms and other bugs eating you.

Is there an afterlife? I kind of feel like religion was created to control society and ease our minds on death. I don't think anyone wants to think that once we die there's nothing more to us. It's weird because when I think of when I die it's going to be like all the lights go out and it's only me. I can't hear, see, feel or touch anyone else. It's just me in an infinite black room.

My ideal heaven would be to see all my family, friends & animals I've had in my life along with all the things I've enjoyed in life like fatty foods, video games, internet, music, movies, TV, slutty looking girls, Asian girls, QVC & cold drinks.

If I was given the option to live on earth forever I may just take that opportunity. I'd be hard pressed to turn down such an extravagant gift. Imagine all the things you'd see like the crazy new TV's, wicked super fast internet, new galaxies & all kinds of other crazy shit. The girls in the future will probably have boobs bigger than cow tits and as much milk too!

So to all my dead homies give us peeps on earth a sign of how death really is! Or maybe you can't because maybe when you're dead you're really dead! :(

What do you think happens when you die???

gso

I Need Change on Register 4...Change on Register 4!!!

Belly aches balloon like marigolds in the spring. So who is that guy the cashier calls when she needs more change?!?! He seemingly comes from out of nowhere with a wad of cash that could make a bum drunk for weeks!

The guy to me seems like he is coming from just stocking the shelves but he must not be because he has this huge pile of money. Obviously some dude stocking the pampers in aisle 5 isn't going to have a stack of 1's and 5's in his pocket waiting for the next middle aged cashier to call him over for change.

The guy must have a secret room in the back where he sits. He's probably watching the people dancing in th aisles via the security cameras. I know I've had my fair share of singing and dancing in stores.

I can only imagine what the "guy" has seen, from people making out to fighting to stealing to people dying? I mean what else could he actually be doing wherever he is coming from? He's surely not setting up the schedule for next weeks big sale for his entire shift.

So to my man who gives the fugly's their change I salute you with a fist to a fist. You calm the customer with your 1's, 5's & 10's and run to the register leaving us with a nice cool breeze.
Keep up the good work my man!

gso

P.S. Who is this man?!?!?!

The Hairy Bagel

Bagels were created back in 1683 by a Jewish baker from Austria. If you don't know what a bagel is then you're kinda fucked up I'd say. They are these circular doughy bread treats with a hole in the middle.

I don't claim to be the originator nor do I claim to be a pro at making "Hairy Bagels". Hairy bagels were created in 2006 probably by some dude with a hairy buddah belly like mine. Hairy bagels are different then regular bagels because you can't really consume them. Here are a few things you can do with a hairy bagel.

Grab it
Squeeze it
Lick it
Shave it
Bite it
Suck on it
Get the lint out
Pray on it
Rub it
Spread cream cheese on it

So as you can see you can do many things with a "Hairy Bagel". I made my "hairy bagel" on November 4, 2006. To observe my "hairy bagel" in its virgin state to me is like watching a newborn baby come out of its mothers womb with all that gook on it. It's a beautiful most edible looking treat that all men, women & children should crave.

How to make your very own hairy bagel. Well you need two things in order to have a genuine "hairy bagel". You need some fat on your stomach and some hair on your stomach. Next you take your two hands and place them around your belly button about 3 inches from your belly button. Then you lightly squeeze thus creating your own hairy bagel.

Here's a video of someone making a hairy bagel!

Go ahead kids enjoy and share your creation with the rest of us!

gso

Screw The Fall Back Clock Change!

The hour of daylight lost since last weekends daylight savings clock change has completely screwed up my sleep pattern. It was already kind of screwed up before because of my work schedule being 5:30 am to 2:00 pm.

It used to not get dark until 7 or 8 pm but now it gets dark at like 5:00 pm. So like an hour after it's been dark outside my eyes start getting heavy and my balls nestle up into my body. I'm beginning to get tired at 7 or 8 pm nowadays. I'm going sleepy heads @ 8:00 pm. I totally live the life of a 65 year old man.

I wake up super early at 4:30 am on the weekdays and 5:30 am on weekends. I almost always go to bed by 8 or 9 pm. My entertainment is going to Target to browse the merchandise and dream about what sweet tooth decaying goodies I could be nursing on. It's a stressful life I lead!

I wish they'd really stop pushing the clocks back one hour in the Fall/Winter months. I mean is it really necessary to do this? If they kept the clocks in the correct position all year round my internal clock would be so much better in tune. Oh and don't get me started on my bed too. My bed is very uncomfortable. I toss and turn all freaking night lately. I think it's almost time to order one of those soft yet firm beds off of HSN.com and do the easy pay plan! I need to keep my 26 year old chubby pale face looking in tip top shape.

Sleep has been my biggest enemy in the last month and I will conquer and defeat it before it gets the better of me. Maybe it's all that Flax Seed Oil I'm taking?!?!?!

gso

Chick-Fil-A (Review)

Today Emily & I visited the grand opening of the newest and now the busiest fast food chain in San Diego / Point Loma, Chick-Fil-A. I don't think I've ever been to a grand opening of a restaurant before? I kind of felt like a dweeb being one of the first people to check out the newest Chick-Fil-A. The first 100 customers today at the Point Loma Chick-Fil-A get a free chicken sandwich every day for a year! That's 52 chicken sandwiches!

The customer service was pretty nuts. We walked through the door and the place is packed with employees. There are door greeters saying "Hello welcome to Chick-Fil-A" then you have the guys in suits overlooking everything. Every single one of the registers had at least one employee at it. Most had 2 employees at them. They actually brought people that work at other Chick-Fil-A's to the Point Loma one to make sure everything ran smoothly. It's too bad I can't get some customer service for greggoconnell.com to help me out with the legions of fans I have. It's hard keeping each and everyone of my married with kids 30 year old females happy. There's only so many times I can write about things that I hate, scare me or things that I like!

In-And-Out is better tasting. Would I go back to Chick-Fil-A again? Yes! I want to try the charbroiled chicken wrap and breakfast! As we were walking out the door they handed each person a FREE coupon for any breakfast item!

It's too bad I don't have coupons for my website. I could give free virtual 2 minute massages or advice on relationships.