My buddy Brian from work and I were talking about if he would do something crazy (the crazy thing I can't remember) for a free vacation and he said "Ya Braaaaahhhh" in all his California swagger. I go would you go on a cruise to the Caribbean? Brian replies with "Ya Braaaahhhh that be cool...hmm nah I'd go to South Africa Braaaahhhh" I'm like "SOUTH AFRICA?!?!? THEY HAVE FUCKIN PIRATES DOWN THERE! REAL LIFE PIRATES!!!"He tells me that South Africa is really nice. His friends parents went there. "Oh ya they went golfing Braahhhh and the guy behind the counter was like do you guys want a jamboy he's only $5. They didn't know what a jamboy was but they thought since it was only $5 what the hell so they said yes." Come to find out that a jamboy and this is really real true honest to God true shit..."Historic word for ethnic people, who were employed by rich white folk. They would follow around their masters with jam smothered on their faces in order to keep the flies off them while they played golf in hot countries"
Isn't that really fucked up?!?!? I could and would never (unless for he right price....no not $5!!!) do that. How can you degrade yourself like that? Believe it or not I have too much fuckin pride to be someone else's jamboy"! Shit I would've gotten a job at the local South African Mickey D's rather than smother jam all over my face for some white dude so that they flies attack me and not him. Uhhh I'd end up kicking the golfers ass by the 2nd hole! Well I would've probably kicked the golfer in the leg and ran away as fast as I could but that's beside the point...or is it?
The shit I tell you guys like "jamboy" and "thizz face" is really keeping you peeps up to date with all this slang talk that you dudes ain't be knowin' bout! You'd be so left out in the cold at the workplace water cooler, but now you can be the one telling stories about getting all "Thizzed out" last weekend or about the time you went golfing in South Africa and had your own "jamboy". Even if you don't golf or haven't been to South Africa just lie it's cool everyone does it!
6 comments:
did that 'real me' thing.. check my blog for the answers.. and yes i'll get you an xmas present.. what do you want and whats your address... and I expect one in return... i collect tea related stuff....
my patience is well noted. a band called 7CW wrote a song about me about patient I am "Patient Man"
For Xmas I'd like either a gift cert to Target or some crazy cool thrift store tshirts with stupid stuff written on them..
where do you live?
You love jam on your face... Or was that something else you liked on your face???
erica: the only thing i like done to my face is a relaxing creamy facial!!!
QofD: "Yeahhh Braaahhh" I wonder when homegrown Californians that have surfersyndrome will die?
want to be my websites official jamgirl?
fair point greg but really, maybe getting a job in the local Mickey Ds just isnt an option if you're the wrong colour in South Africa? I fact, getting a job in the local Mickey Ds, although considered the lower end of the scale in the US, is probably a bit higher up the scale in SA. having said that, jam is nice, but i couldnt eat a whole pot! i would get u an xmas present but im not allowed to talk to strangers..........
Post a Comment