greggoconnell.com 2.0

greggoconnell.com version 1.0 has been going strong since December 2004, but it's time for a change. I'm hoping in early early February 2012 ha ha j/k it'll be 2007 I'll be changing my whole site, thus creating greggoconnell.com 2.0.

It will no longer be using blogger. The updated site will have a whole heap of new features that I can't talk about right now because my lawyer said I should keep quiet, so that if something doesn't make it on launch date, I don't get sued by you peeps!

So bear with me cause my blogs might slow down for a bit as I get the new site up and running!
For now enjoy this video of "Herbie vs. The Banana"

My Very First Psycho Fan (Video + Voicemails)

People sometimes go through life without the pleasure of having a stalker or if you're like me, a famous blogger than you have "Psycho Fans". This guy is no ordinary "Psycho Fan" he's become an obsessed "Psycho Fan". Calling my hot line 619-377-0593 at 4:00 am PST on Sundays, and expressing his undying love for the band Journey & me.

I'm sharing and promoting my first crazed fan because I feel proud. The kind of proud you feel the first time you see your puppy walk with a leash for the first time! Come feel the pride by watching the video and listening to this crazy fucker!

The Worst Short Story Ever Written by Gregg O'Connell

Cascading down the mountain side, I stopped to smell the flowers. She briefly for that moment sat in a somber state believing every word I said, "When the time is right we'll do it" I said with much vigor. She laughed it off like it was one of those times by the river when we'd touch each other's private parts until Mona started crying out in pain. I knelt down beside her like a man does when proposing to a woman "Do you really want to take this feeling of lust over love?" I asked with concern. She responded very quickly and dramatically "YES! YES!" She always had a way of easing my concerns with her gentle touch along my thigh.

I stood confused because what was once just a friendship blossomed into moments of fleeting lust for one another. "Is this the feeling all the other boys were talking about when Father Ryan would treat them to a game of doctor and patient" I asked myself. Trembling like a puppy straight out of the bath as I inched closer to her. She lay their confident and as still as a brick. Her soft skin and shiny hair baked in the sun and was warm to the touch. Inside my stomach churned like it does when eating too many of mothers cookies in one sitting.

I began sliding both my hands up her legs until I reached her upper thighs when all the sudden all I saw was black. "Did God strike me down for trying to do what only the married folks are supposed to do" I woke up 2 hours later with a bruise on my forehead the size of Colorado's country side & sweet Mona hands caressing my shoulders. "Are you alright darling" Mona said...."Why Yes..but...but I don't know what happened..." Mona went onto explain that as I got to her thighs my eyes rolled into the back of my head "pluff" I was out like a light. I felt embarrassed and ashamed that I had gone against God's word.

We never went back to the stream alone, I felt like God had made the decision for me that I wasn't yet ready for "adult matters". I took his "advice" and on my free time dedicated my life to him by spending time with Father Ryan.

I hope you enjoyed story time with me, I know I did...

gso

Yoshi: Mini Schnauzer Puppy (Video)

Yoshi if you don't know is my new Mini-Schnauzer puppy. He's now 9 weeks old and he is quite a handful. He pees and poops like he's training to be the pee and poop champion of the world. He's cuter than a 6 month year old baby and loves to eat!

As a special treat Yoshi lets you into his world. Come ground level as he explores the tasty part of my hand. The wind blowing through his hair as he runs in the living room and some of his most explicit photos ever allowed on the Internet.

3 Embarrassing Moments of My Life

1. I was 14 years old at the time and it was the beginning of me having anxiety attacks. The feeling of the anxiety attack when it would occur was the feeling of being in a dream, kind of like a 3rd person experience so it would totally freak me out. Well, I had a basketball game one night and as the game started I began to have that same kind of feeling I had "the feeling of being in a dream" so I began to freak out and I ran off the court and yelled at my mom to tell her "LET'S GO, I NEED TO LEAVE". Remember this is in the middle of a game. My mom basically starts yelling at me "GREGG DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT". I'm like whatever so I just run off the court and outside. My mom follows and we leave. I felt like such a douche bag, not only because I had an anxiety attack and those are demoralizing, but also because I left the game the way I did and my mom began yelling at me. I can laugh at it now but back then I felt like such a dweeb. I wish anxiety had a face because I'd piss all over it!

2. When I was 13 I twisted my testicle and I took 1 week off from school. By the time I had return to school word got out that I had twisted my left testicle. The kids at school started saying "What's up lefty" and "Hey how are you one ball". Fucking little Junior High Bastards I hope you all go screw yourselves! Ha ha again now I can laugh at it but back then twisting your testicle and having people find out before you want them to makes you feel like "less of a man". Imagine if I had a blog back when I was in Junior High? Shit I wouldn't have written about masturbating 3 times a day and how many points I scored in the basketball game.

3. When I was 19 years old I used to work at Putnam Investments. This was also during the time of my well kept grooming stage. I used to get my eyebrows waxed and stuff like that. No, the eyebrow waxing isn't the embarrassing part. The embarrassing part is I used Nair one night to get my uni brow off. You know how after you use Nair you're supposed to clean it off really really good? Well I thought I had, but the next morning when I woke up I had this big red patch across where a uni brow would go. The good news was I didn't have a uni brow made of hair but I did now have a uni brow made of a red burn mark. I looked so freaking ridiculous. I felt like such a stupid biotch. I wanted to call in the next day but I braved the humility and the red patch was gone 5 days later.

Come on guys you must have some embarrassing moments in your lives that you're dying to share with the class today!

gso

10 Reasons To NOT Believe in God

This is really in no particular order. Enjoy it :)

1. When you die you won't be let down by not seeing God or getting into Heaven.

2. Your chances of being molested by a priest go down drastically.

3. You get to have intercourse with as many people as possible without the guilt trip of thinking the big guy upstairs wouldn't want you doing this!

4. You get 5 minutes freed up every night before you go to bed. Woohoo to 5 extra minutes of sleep!

5. Masturbate every single morning, noon & night. Right now "God" says masturbation is bad! bad! bad! so get your hands out of your pants!!!

6. You get to finally worship Satan and wear black every day!

7. No more stale pieces of bread and cranberry juice!

8. You can start dating your best friend Mike without feeling guilty, even if he has the same genitalia as you!

9. You can finally believe in evolution. Now you can freely and confidently say that we derived from apes at one time or another.

10. No more believing that Ole Mighty God is the one responsible for all the massive natural disasters and that the world is going to end soon because we are all fighting with one another. We know that WE are the ones that can and will end our world not some supernatural force!

Did I miss anything?

gso

Dirty Laundry Interviews Gregg O'Connell

Source: Dirty Laundry

I found Gregg's site after reading that he was some sort of comment whore over at another site. I thought that the comment whore title was interesting and if someone was calling him that then he must be fun. I've been reading his blog ever since. We have absolutely nothing in common and I think of him as my over-sized, almost the same age as me, never met him in real life internet son...he's like a son to me...over the internet...and you will fall in love with him and want to adopt him too (that's how awesome he is). I sat down and asked Gregg some questions the other day...his answers will be in bold.

Hi Gregg...how are you today?
I'm pretty good. I woke up at 5:00am..and it's Saturday..hmmm

You have mentioned more than a million times that you don't drink (as in alcohol)...What kind of freak gets high on life and how do you do it?
I don't need alcohol because I can get away from my problems and have fun with listening to music, playing UNO on Xbox 360 & masturbating to the thoughts of naked blogger chicks!

Your dog Herbie is awesomely adorable...If it was socially acceptable, would you marry him?
Great question and hard hitting as well! I wouldn't marry Herbie because my love for him is more like the love that you may have for your own child. I love Herbie as if he were my son. He and I have this connection kind of like the connection Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey...real deep and meaningful conversations you know?!

If you were faced with eating dark meat chicken or losing Herbie to a pack of wolves which would you chose?
Fucking-A that's really easy-eating dark meat chicken. If I lost Herbie I'd go into a state of depression that only lots of anti depressants could help. I'd need something to numb my pain. Eating dark meat chicken to me is like kissing the ugly chick in class in front of everyone. I don't want to do it but if it comes down to Herbie, I'd do it!

Could you please reveal some of your beauty secretes?
I use Happy Colongne, Dove soap, Fantastic Sam's shampoo, Paul Mitchell Dry Wax for my hair, Crest Toothpaste, Listerine Mouthwash, Stride Gum & lots of baby oil

What's it like being a Filipino?
I wouldn't know because I'm Irish. I do find Filipino girls hotter than a Burger King grill though...

Name 5 people you wish you would love to have dinner with...
5 people OK here goes...My mom's dad who is my grandfather. He died in 1989 when I was only 9years old. I really wouls have liked to get to know him as I got olderbut I never got the chance. It'd be really cool to talk to him andget his ideas and thoughts on life and such. My mom: I've only seen her once in 2 years...Dad,Sister,Brother I haven't seen them in 2 years!!!And to add a sixth I'd want to have dinner with Traci Bingham becauseshe's the hottest black woman I've seen that looks like some other ethnicity.

You are in serious need of a tan...why are you scared of the sun?
It causes sun sores, skin cancer and it sunburns hurt...I'd rather get a tan from the glowing light of my computer monitor.

Are you sure you aren't gay?
I'm straight except for those 2 dudes I banged in '83.

What happens after the lights go out?
Well I place my hands underneath the covers and slowly strangle the neck of the unsuspecting victim sleeping next to me. Or I usually just masturbate and slowly go to sleep.

Seriously...what possessed you to do THIS?!?!
I wanted to get the attention of everyone on the internet. Gay guysseems to froth at the mouth over this kind of nakedness. It not onlygot me a few hits to my website but a whole slue of new gay fans!

You are extremely sexy...How do you keep the ladies off of you?
To keep the ladies off I usually tell them I have an STD that'sincurable and may cause itching.

Hungry?
Ahh the "hairy bagel". It goes well with lite Cream Cheese and somechives...yummy!

And last but not least...WHY?
It catches people off guard leaving them with the ever lasting memory of my sweetass conquering their computer screen!

Thanks Gregg...I can now live a more fulfilled life now that I know a little more about you.

You're welcome and I must give a shout-out to Herbie, Yoshi & all therest of my crew!

Joel Osteen is CREEPY!

Do you know this guy Joel Osteen? He's this CREEPY Senior Pastor for the fastest growing church in America the Lakewood Church. I know of him because he's on USA right now doing an infomercial. He has this shit face smile on. It's one of those plastic smiles that phony bologna Human Resource people have when they're interviewing you. You know when they act like they are interested in what you're saying but they don't give more than 2 or 3 shits about it.

People like Joel that scare people through religion are seriously fucked & greedy! The scare tactics they use with "you can't get to heaven without doing this, this & this" makes people think that this is true. The televangelists of the world pray on weak people who feel like they need someone to lead them to the "promise land". This in turn allows televangelists like Joel Osteen to make these weak people feel like they need to give away their hard earned cash to these cult like religions in order to spread the word of God.

I really wish they'd put warning signs on these televangelist infomericals like they do on cigarette cartons stating "By giving away your money and following this con artist it doesn't mean you will get into, close or near heaven once you are deceased." It really bugs me that people fall for this shit. People like this dude almost seem to always contradict their own words. They seem to always be getting arrested for sleeping with hookers, doing drugs or sucking some dudes cock in a parking lot in their truck.

Are you with me my brothers and sisters? Trust my words and I'll lead you to the promise land. PRAY WITH ME!!! "Gregg is our shepherd as he types through the valley of the shadow of death. He leads us into the divine land of life, love and the pursuit of happiness...Amen"

gso

Walmart vs. Target: Drunken Guy Thoughts (Drunk Hotline)

I've seen a few drunk guys and girls in my life. My least favorite drunks are aggressive guys and girl that start to cry uncontrollably. This drunk guy who voices his opinion on why Walmart is going to kill Target is coherent, intelligent & wee bit over confident I dare say.

So the next time you're drunk call 619-377-0593 and leave me a message!

You're Really Gay?!?!?!

Have you ever worked with someone for a while and then you come to find out that they're gay? This has happened to me on a few occasions and each time is more shocking than the next. It's hard getting used to thinking someone is gay when you first thought they were straight. A lot of the time the person that is gay will pretend to be straight in front of others.

I used to work with this dude in Massachusetts and he was actually my boss. Anyways, I totally completely thought this dude was banging chicks or at least dreaming of banging chicks. The longer I worked at this company the more "in" I got with him and some of his gay friends. Well one day on the train ride home we were all talking about God knows what, probably about processing mutual funds or banging chicks when he's like "I'm gay!". I was shocked! As shocked as when that chick who was pretending to be a guy showed her boobs to that guy in that 1980's movie which I can't remember the name of!

You know when a dude is gay and he has that kind of lisp when he speaks. Well this dude never had the gay lisp until after he told me he liked playing tonsil hockey with dudes. Then all of the sudden this guy was lisping left and right with phrases like "Thasssss great Gregg" and "That dudesssss asssss isssssss ssssssoooo niccccccce". It's almost as if just because he told me he was gay that he now had this license to use his lisp when he previously did not have one.

gso

How Well Do You Know Me?

With the fall of the Roman Empire came the internet. Now not only do people that live thousands of miles away get to know me on a virtually personal level. They also get to meet other like minded individuals. From coast to coast, from the Carolinas to the Red Wood Forest, to the Gulf Stream Waters, To the New York Islands...This internet was made for you and me!

Now try and see how well you know me! The person with the highest score gets one of my guitar picks signed by me!

How Well Do you know greggoconnell.com Take my quiz! Take This Quiz | See Scores | Make Own Quiz

When Did A Large Pizza Get So Small?!?!

Have you noticed in the last 10-15 years that pizzas have gotten smaller? I remember when what is a large today was a medium 15 years ago and what is an extra large today is actually a large 15 years ago! The big pizza chains like Pizza Hut & Papa John's are the ones to blame for this tyrannic change in sizes! All they want to do is make money without caring much for quality.

The reason for this is because they increased the price of a pizzas! I remember when I could get 2 large cheese pizzas for $9.99. Today two large pizzas are like $16.99 or more, but remember today's larges are actually mediums from 20 years ago. Did these big corporate pizza giants sit in a board room one day and say "I have an excellent idea! Let's have XL pizzas and charge an XL price but they'll really only be large pizzas!" These motherfuckers have been stealing my money for too long and it's time for someone to stand up to these mofo's! I'm just the one to do it too! I hope I am anyway :(

Remember when toppings used to be 50 or 75 cents a topping? Today they're $1.50 to $2.00 a topping! It's not like the toppings got 2x better tasting just because they are now 2X more expensive! Now I don't need one of you ass wipes to comment and say "Dude it's inflation! " Fuck inflation and fuck the pizza shops that have doubled their prices! If you're going to charge 2x the price as you did 10 years ago than throw 2x more toppings as you did 10 years ago!

Stop the insanity!

gso

And My New Puppy's Name is....

Dah Dah Dah....Yoshi. I called him James, Lawrence, Benny, Barney, but I have settled on Yoshi. Yes, Yoshi the same name as the little dinosaur guy from the Nintendo games. Why Yoshi you ask? Probably because it's a bit on the different side for dog names.

It's seem like on an hourly basis that Yoshi isn't only shitting and pissing, but he's also showing more of his personality and getting more comfortable. Like this morning he was jumping at Herbie trying to get him to play. Herbie being the gentle sole he is got right into playing stance but never went back at Yoshi. Yoshi also is starting to play with the cats as well, like today he put both paws on the black cats side until she ran away. Yoshi is quickly becoming a crazy little man like Mr. Bill Kutters.

On a side note I have setup my side project blog, which is SDFoodGuys.com. It's a blog that reviews restaurants in the San Diego area and beyond. I have me and about 4 other people who will be writing reviews on different restaurants in the area. I got the idea for this site after writing a blog on my website for "5 Great Places To Eat in San Diego". I know everytime I search Google it seems that there are never any reviews or good reviews for most restaurants that I want to try. Plus this site will be in blog format so people that visit the site can comment. If you live in the San Diego area and want to write some reviews shoot me an email to SDFoodGuys@gmail.com.

holla holla holla,

gso

Help Name My NEW Mini-Schnauzer Puppy!

I broke down finally and got a NEW Mini-Schnauzer Puppy. The puppy is a boy. I know I said I wanted to get a girl, but this guy was just too cute. He comes when you call him, he plays for like 10 minutes then needs a 20 minute nap, he adores food & loves his picture taken.

I found out about him from the Fox6.com website. I called the ad and asked if it was OK to visit the puppy, the guy said yes so Emily and I headed down. Their were two puppies left both boys. One puppy was very shy, unresponsive & not lively. Then there was the puppy I chose who was running all over the house, but when called would come to you. I was hooked, but Emily convinced me to sleep on it and decide tomorrow. Tomorrow is today and I made my final decision to pick up my new little man. We went down to pick him up right as the New England Patriots beat the San Diego Chargers (woohoo).

Since being at my house it took him all of 30 minutes to fully get comfortable and start running around the house. Herbie has been awesome, so good in fact that he hasn't growled or done anything aggressive to the puppy at all. The puppy almost went poops on the bed, but Emily saw him as he got into the pooping position and we rushed him outside where he defocated with perfection.

Finally what this blog is all about, what do I name my new little man? I've called him "Benny" & "Barney", but nothing is set in stone. In fact my mom emailed two emails with 10 names in each email. Give me your suggestions and let me know what you like!!!

1. BROCKTON [BROCK]

2. DIEGO

3. FRISCO

4. AMOS

5. WILLIE

6. CHARLIE

7. EBONEY

8. HOMER

9. OWEN

10. QUINN

and

1. HENRY

2. HARRY

3. TRUMP

4. GEORGIE

5. STEVIE

6. SCOOTCHIE

7. JAMES

8. WALLY

9. ZACK

10. SONNY

thx
gso

My Favorite Photos on Flickr

Don't mind the woman breast feeding. I just thought it was weird because the kid is like 5 years old! So go on and treat yourself to my most favorite photos on Flickr!

Mini-Schnauzer Puppy

Lately I've been looking to add another Mini-Schnauzer puppy to my life. I've got Herbie and Herbie is fantastic, but I'd like to add a female Mini-Schnauzer. I don't want to get a male Schnauzer only because Herbie seems to compete with male dogs. I heard that female and male dogs don't compete nearly as much.

I began my search by emailing the MSCSC.org. They gave me a list of AKC registered breeders and contact info for them. I called like 5 of the breeders and they all have a kind of arrogance to them. You know that kind of "I breed the best dogs around and their shit doesn't stink". I was talking to one breeder and I was telling her I have a white Schnauzer and she replied with "Shame on you!". I guess the story goes that the high-end breeders usually kill the white Schnauzers because the AKC doesn't consider the white Schnauzers actually Schnauzers. It's psychotic isn't it? It's like saying "oh she doesn't speak Chinese, so let's not call her Chinese". So not only are these high-end breeders arrogant & mean, but they also charge a lot! They charge anywhere between $1,000 - $1,500 for puppies. These breeders are so F'd!

I've decided on trying to find a Mini-Schnauzer female puppy from craigslist, puppyfind.com, or fox6.com classifieds. They cost a hell of a lot less and let's be honest they are the same dog as the $1,500 dog. Am I right or am I right or Am I right?

Long Live Herbie!

gso

My New Job of Starring in TV Ads (Videos)

I know I love seeing videos of myself, especially when they are good quality clips like me starring in my own HP, McDonald's or Levi's commercials!

Let me know what you think and if you star in any videos please post it in the comments section!

HP Commercial (kinda funny)
McDonald's Commercial (kinda funny) (Emily has a starring role in this video as well)
Levi's Commercial (VERY Funny)

Oh ya I almost forgot. Punky gave me a brilliant idea. She said why don't you turn your comment line (619) 377-0593 (that no one calls) into a "secrets line". Here's the idea, you call and anonymously or in character leave a secret on the secrets line and that # is 619-377-0593.
At the end of each week I'll post an audio file of the secrets left. We can then all laugh, cry, be mad or joyful at the secrets you divulged. The biggest secret you could have would be if you knew where OBL (Osama Bin Laden) is, then you get a $50 Million prize!

ok so call me now 619-377-0593!

gso

10 Reasons I Have A Blog

1. I like to make fun of myself. There's nothing more gratifying to me, than taking "sexy photos" of myself just to get you kids get a little chuckle or a "that's nasty".

2. It's an artistic outlet for me. I get to be anything I want on this blog. I can be serious, dumb, musical, videoical, photocal (I made the last 2 words up I Think) & sexy. No one can stop me from being anything, except my own conscience. I am beautiful in every single way, no words can't bring me down! oh no no no no!

3. If I get pissed off at someone or something I can write about it. I like nothing more than having "Blog Wars" with other bloggers. It's good for the soul! Plus it makes you look really tough fighting with girls.

4. I get to virtually meet a lot of cool people from all over the internet. If I didn't have a blog I would've never gotten to know DirtyLaundry, RockStarMommy, Punky, PinkbeltRAGE, Dan, Julianne B, Q of D & More! I'm trying to arrange a meeting with RSM, that would be the highlight of my blogging career!

5. I love getting comments! When I get one it makes me feel like a 14 year old girl getting Myspace messages from a 34 year old guy in another state. It makes me feel special! The big pay off is when it's someone that found my site randomly or heard from a friend about it. That's like actually getting to sleep with the 34 year old guy from another state. Not getting comments is like the 34 year old guy getting charged with statutory rape after he slept with me :(

6. Getting paid by having Google Adsense on my blog. OK, so I have had the ads up for a year and I've only accumulated $27, but with every click it brings me closer to their $100 pay out!

7. Getting voicemails left on my comment line (619) 377-0593. It's not a big deal if I haven't had a new voicemail in two months. I still love checking it everyday in hopes that some kid with nothing better to do will leave me a message so I can post it on my website! God bless you Alexander Graham Bell!

8. I love tracking my blogs traffic. I get to see how many hits I got for the day, where my visitors live, how they found my site & more. You may think you're only watching me but little do you know I'm really watching you too! mu ha ha ha ha! cough cough...

9. It's a challenge for me to write in my blog 5 times a week. I don't really challenge myself anywhere in my life except for my blog. It's actually pretty difficult coming up with things to write about day in and day out. I know sometimes I write about stupid shit and my vocabulary & grammar are like a kid from Somalia trying to learn English, but I have a good time writing!

10. And the last reason I have a blog is I'm trying to be famous. Being a rockstar hasn't paned out yet so I'm hoping be a famous blogger. I figure right now I'm only a C-list Bloglebrity
but I'm going to keep on writing, recording videos & taking raunchy photos all in a bid to take over the blogging world and become an A-list Bloglebrity!

Thanks for you time,
gso.

Reason's Why My Apartment Sucks!

The bathroom has no electrical plugs.

The drains are constantly clogged.

We have to water these hideous looking plants in the front part of our yard. If they die our landlord calls us and yells at us. They've died 3x!

90% of our electrical sockets are two prongs. Almost everything that isn't a lamp is 3 prongs! We need to buy 3 prong adapters in order to use them!

The rugs are dirtier than a priest!

All the windows are sliding windows making for it to be impossible to put a regular air conditioner in the windows!

The walls are thinly insulated. It's shivering cold in the winter and sweaty hot in the summer.

We have no closets for things like vacuums, brooms, towels, etc.

The ceiling in the living room leaks if it rains too hard.

The kitchen is tiny like a closet that we don't have for vacuums, brooms, towels, etc...

Our neighbors on one side party like college kids. On the other side the father and son smoke weed and scream at each other at the top of their lungs "DID YOU TAKE ALL MY WEED?!?!?!"

What sucks about the place you live in?

gso

Sunday Nights Alone Are Dangerous!

This Sunday night was a tad different than most of my Sunday Nights. First off, Emily had a dinner date with some of her friends downtown. Usually on Sundays Emily & I sit around the fireplace roasting marshmallows & telling each other secrets. Emily was out of the house at 5:30 pm and that's when the fun began!

After playing video games for an hour I decided to be productive and finally clean the bathroom! First though I needed to feed Herbie. So I grabbed Herbie's bowls and saw that they were dirtier than some of the language I use on my blog and decided to clean them. I finished cleaning his bowls and proceeded to turn off the water when I hear "SNAP" not "Oh Snap!" like the brotha's like to use but more in the sense of "uh oh something just broke". I mess with the faucet and the damn thing won't turn off and it's shooting water in the air and running very fast into the sick. I'm really lucky the drain wasn't clogged or otherwise I would've been bucketing water from the sink to outside. My apartment is so old and crappy that there were no turn off switches underneath the sink in the kitchen. So like the woman I am I call my girlfriend "ring, ring, ring" ok now answer. "Hey Em, the faucet is broken and won't turn off. I'm just wondering if you know how to fix it?" I must be the biggest waste of a man since Clay Aiken. I decide to call the landlord's emergency contact phone number. I get a hold of them and tell them the situation. She says she will send a handyman out my way. The handyman gets here at 7:30 pm to save my life from certain drowning and gives us a new faucet.

I think the moral of the story for me is to NOT use the faucet when I'm home alone, nor try being productive because it will just get me into trouble. Either that or maybe I should go take one of those handyman courses at like a community college. If it weren't for my witty banter and adult developed motor skills people might just think I'm slow!?!?

gso

5 Great Places To Eat in San Diego Recommended by greggoconnell.com

I know most of you don't live in San Diego, but you never know when you may have to move to San Diego to evade a warrant or a stalking spouse or maybe you will just vacation here. Here are a list of 5 spots that are really really good that a lot of people may not know about and that I recommend!




Poma's Italian Deli
1846 Bacon St
San Diego, CA
(619) 223-3027
This place is capital A-W-E-S-O-M-E! OK so it doesn't really have the best decor or alcoholic beverages that you can actually drink in the restaurant, but the food tastes like your grandmother from Italy slaved over it all day in the kitchen. The lasagna, the sauce, the meatballs, the garlic bread & the subs are really good! You're Italian grandmother definitely doesn't work here either but her grandsons do! It's all guys but they are super nice and very friendly! As a bonus they do have a TV that seems to always be showing talk shows like Oprah!

Gaglione Bros.
3944 W Point Loma Blvd
San Diego, CA 92110
(619) 758-0646
Wowawee! This sub shop is hands down the best steak and cheese sub place (aka Cheese Steak) I have ever had! It's the kind of steak that you barely have to chew. It goes down like water but tastes like steak and cheese. The bread is always soft and bakery fresh! Their fries are no slouch either, crispy, salty and yummy!

Bar-B-Que House
5025 Newport Ave.
San Diego, CA 92107
(619) 222-4311
Awesome BBQ sandwiches that are mega cheap! Sweet, medium or spicy BBQ sauce to go on top of your pork, beef or my favorite white meat chicken sandwich. They smoke the meat, then carve your sandwich meat from big hunks of pork, beef or chicken, then they smother it in BBQ sauce. Add the crispy, salty fresh fries and you've got yourself a meal any athlete would love to share with his teammates!

Old Venice Italian Restaurant
2910 Canon St
San Diego, CA 92106
(619) 222-5888
Elegant yet lively in a heavenly atmosphere. This by far is the nicest place to eat on the list and one of the nicest places to eat in San Diego period. It's an up class restaurant without the hoity toity people that generally inhabit these kinds of places. You have people that will dress up but then you'll also have a cute little blogger boy eating dinner with his girlfriend wearing sweatpants & a burrito stained sweatshirt. The food here is amazing, and fresh warm garlic bread is given all meal long for FREE. The ravioli's, lasagne, meatballs & spaghetti are my favorites. They also have this bar that's attached to the restaurant that is really cool. They play thumping ambient electronic music in a setting that rivals heaven itself. White table cloths, bottles and bottles of wine & waiters that look like they just got off the boat from Italy or Brazil.

Bronx Pizza
111 Washington St
San Diego, CA 92103
(619) 291-3341
I'm from Massachusetts as most of you know and there are a lot of places there that have great pizza. When I got to San Diego I asked people who had good pizza and they'd say Papa John's. Freaking crazy right? Well I put a post in my blog in 2005 complaining that San Diego had the worst pizza, well someone responded and said to try a place on Washington Street called Bronx Pizza. So one day I go to Bronx Pizza and order up a pie. WOW! Amazing, New York Style pizza. It's really one of the best pizza places I have ever been to. The service kind of sucks only because the dudes that work there especially the big fat guy that does the register is an asshole. They act like they are in New York still so they give you that New York cliche attitude. I forgive them though because the pizza is top notch and makes my little heart stop a little with every bite! My favorite pie toppings are "Meatball & Pepperoni" "Plain Cheese" & "Pepperoni & Ricotta".

Get out there and explore the many fine hidden restaurants that your city has. I tend to find that the smaller mom and pop restaurants are better tasting and more enjoyable than the big chain places. Down with corporate restaurants!!!

Bon Appétit!
gso

Video Games Ate My Brain

This probably hasn't happened to you because, most likely you're a mom, business professional or single girl who likes to drink alone but, when I play video games for a prolonged time my brain turns into a zombie. If I'm playing a game like Resident Evil where I get chased or a game with driving in it like Grand Theft Auto then when I get into the real world I actually expect to be shot at or rammed into by someone else's car. I'll be walking Herbie outside after a long intense battle with some zombie creature and I'll be looking around feeling like I need to duck in order to not get hit, it's kind of creepy. I'd definitely be that guy on the news that played video games for 24 hours straight then goes and jumps off a cliff to his death. When I'm playing scary games I need to constantly need to look over my shoulder to make sure Emily doesn't come up behind me and scare me ha ha.

Yesterday I got home from work, took Herbie for a walk & then for like 2 hours straight played WWE: Raw vs. Smackdown. That's actually not that bad, what makes it bad is after I ate dinner I got back on the Xbox 360 and played for another 2-3 hours. Talk about a "Videot"(video game idiot)!!! The zombie state felt after playing wrestling for over 4 hours was, I felt disconnected from the rest of the household. I wanted to share some "cuddle time" with Emily but I couldn't. My body wanted some female affection but my brain wanted to be a vegetable. I was so out of it that I couldn't even muster up enough brain activity to write a blog! Now I know how it feels to be one of those teenie pop stars that has has everything done for them from songs getting written for them to having their clothes picked out so they don't need to think!

gso

Thomas Kinkade : Sellout Asshole or Greatest Modern Day Artist?

I've just been starting to notice Thomas Kinkade's fine artwork. He's definitely not one of those artists that will gain you any "cool" points, in fact his art is widely sold in bookstores & drugstores in the form of calendars & greeting cards. You don't need to figure out his work at all, it's like candy, but for your eyes.

If you haven't seen his artwork (click here) then you are missing out. His artwork for me, gives a feeling of peace & relaxation. His artwork to you most likely gives you the feeling of being at your grandmothers house while she tells you a story that bores you to death, while you look at her knick knacks. Yes, Thomas Kinkade's artwork looks like your grandmothers knick knacks.

Emily recently purchased me a 2007 Thomas Kinkade calendar. I was as happy as a flower, blooming on the first day of spring. I hung it up at my desk at work. It's a little ridiculous but I now have 2 calendars on my desk. One is a calendar of my dog Herbie & the other is the Thomas Kinkade one

I didn't really know anything about Thomas Kinkade's background until I did a little research on Wikipedia. I guess Thomas Kinkade is kind of a dickhead. He taunts other artists at shows by shouting at them, he is rumored to have a proclivity for ritual territory marking through urination, alleged to have openly grab a woman's breast at a South Bend, Indiana sales event & Kinkade was so drunk at a Sigfried & Roy show that he began shouting "Codpiece, Codpiece" until his mother calmed him down. I must confess I didn't know what a "Codpiece" was so I looked it up and found out it's a pouch that covers a man's genitals. I guess they were quit popular in the 16th century. Maybe I'll bring Codpiece's back to fashion! Men today definitely need genital protection from all those women that try and kick us in the nuts!

Kinkade is the only artist to have sold over 1 million pieces of art. He has made $53 million from 1997 to 2005. When Kinkade was on QVC he sold over $2 million worth of merchandise in one hour! Obviously he is talented and hits a special nerve with housewives, old ladies & even some 26 year old studs with his paintings.

Thomas Kinkade may be a complete asshole but what great artist isn't? I really think in order to make a mark on this world artistically you need to be a selfish, sometimes heartless, self- indulgent asshole. You can't worry about anyone's feelings or needs until your own are satisfied. Thomas Kinkade, I forgive you for your selfish, heartless, self-indulgent asshole behavior!

gso