10 Reasons I Have A Blog

1. I like to make fun of myself. There's nothing more gratifying to me, than taking "sexy photos" of myself just to get you kids get a little chuckle or a "that's nasty".

2. It's an artistic outlet for me. I get to be anything I want on this blog. I can be serious, dumb, musical, videoical, photocal (I made the last 2 words up I Think) & sexy. No one can stop me from being anything, except my own conscience. I am beautiful in every single way, no words can't bring me down! oh no no no no!

3. If I get pissed off at someone or something I can write about it. I like nothing more than having "Blog Wars" with other bloggers. It's good for the soul! Plus it makes you look really tough fighting with girls.

4. I get to virtually meet a lot of cool people from all over the internet. If I didn't have a blog I would've never gotten to know DirtyLaundry, RockStarMommy, Punky, PinkbeltRAGE, Dan, Julianne B, Q of D & More! I'm trying to arrange a meeting with RSM, that would be the highlight of my blogging career!

5. I love getting comments! When I get one it makes me feel like a 14 year old girl getting Myspace messages from a 34 year old guy in another state. It makes me feel special! The big pay off is when it's someone that found my site randomly or heard from a friend about it. That's like actually getting to sleep with the 34 year old guy from another state. Not getting comments is like the 34 year old guy getting charged with statutory rape after he slept with me :(

6. Getting paid by having Google Adsense on my blog. OK, so I have had the ads up for a year and I've only accumulated $27, but with every click it brings me closer to their $100 pay out!

7. Getting voicemails left on my comment line (619) 377-0593. It's not a big deal if I haven't had a new voicemail in two months. I still love checking it everyday in hopes that some kid with nothing better to do will leave me a message so I can post it on my website! God bless you Alexander Graham Bell!

8. I love tracking my blogs traffic. I get to see how many hits I got for the day, where my visitors live, how they found my site & more. You may think you're only watching me but little do you know I'm really watching you too! mu ha ha ha ha! cough cough...

9. It's a challenge for me to write in my blog 5 times a week. I don't really challenge myself anywhere in my life except for my blog. It's actually pretty difficult coming up with things to write about day in and day out. I know sometimes I write about stupid shit and my vocabulary & grammar are like a kid from Somalia trying to learn English, but I have a good time writing!

10. And the last reason I have a blog is I'm trying to be famous. Being a rockstar hasn't paned out yet so I'm hoping be a famous blogger. I figure right now I'm only a C-list Bloglebrity
but I'm going to keep on writing, recording videos & taking raunchy photos all in a bid to take over the blogging world and become an A-list Bloglebrity!

Thanks for you time,
gso.

C-List Bloglebrity

One of my New Years resolutions for 2007 is to be a B-List bloglebrity. A bloglebrity is all about the amount of Vanity Fair, GQ, and People Magazine covers you can score. To be an A-List Bloglebrity on the Internet, it’s all about the amount of link love you can score. Right now I'm a C-List bloglebrity and to be fair and honest to myself the best I feel I could be in the span of one year would be a B-list bloglebrity.

I've been a blogger for a little over 2 years and my site has been growing quite steadily due to the fact that I look like Charlie Sheen, I'm funny like Roseanne Barr & I have the writing ability of a 3rd grader. When you add all three of those qualities up you've got a recipe for greatness!

Why do I want to be a more popular blogger you ask? Well that answer is simple! I want to loved and adored by people all across the world. I want to be the website you go to when you're about to commit suicide.. Then after reading something on my site you decide not to because you want to see what I'll write about next and you know you won't be able to if you kill yourself.

Yes we have global warming and Saddam Hussein about to be hung but what's more heartwarming then a 26 year old guy trying to make a living off of blogging about his life? Would you honestly rather read about the world blowing up or about how I twisted my testicle as a teenager? You'd rather read about me twisting my testicle!

Who really wants to work a real job? I don't want to be super rich or CEO of some lame ass company. I want the freedom to write about whatever I want and make a living off of it. If I don't move my personal bloglebrity meter up to B-List then I'm dooming myself a failure!

How do I make it B-list bloglebrity you ask? Well what I've been doing lately is finding other fellow bloggers websites and commenting on theirs, then asking them if they'd like to trade links. Almost everyone says yes. Take for instance today I told Dan that I posted a link to his website on mine and if he'd do the same. He responded with

"Thanks for linking to me Gregg but, unfortunately, I won't be able to
link to you because your musical tastes suck.

Just kidding (about the "not being able to link part"). I just did."

He came off as a complete and utter asshole at first but as you can see he redeemed himself with a "just kidding" to make things right. So you can see sometimes it takes thick skin or fore skin which you choose to be able to fend off harsh words from jealous bloggers.

I'll keep chugging along by whoring myself out like a crackhead trying to get her next fix. I'll do what it takes by linking sites on my website that bore me to pieces all in an effort to get to that next stop of bloglebrity status! Who the fuck's with me!?!?!

gso