Confessional Like a Catholic

I'm not Catholic I'm Protestant so I never went to CCD or confessional. I guess I'm probably lucky by not being Catholic because of all those sexual abuse cases from the Priests. Today I thought since I never did confessional that I'd do one today to get some things off my chest. So here goes!

When I was 11 years old I used to go to this convenient store called B&J's in good ole Brockton, MA with my friends. Well back in 1991 tiny little crappy stores didn't have surveillance cameras. Also back then they still had the same stupid moronic cashiers as they do today. So me and my friends would go to the candy aisle and fill our pockets up with gum and candy bars. I don't even think we'd even buy one thing when we were in there either which is weird. Who the fuck goes into a convenient store and looks at the stuff and doesn't buy anything. When you go into a convenient store you're purposely going in there to get some specific because you don't feel like going into a supermarket. When we'd walk out of the store with our pockets filled up I had the biggest rush of adrenaline. I felt like such a cool rebel dude for stealing candy. We did this the whole summer of 5th grade going into 6th. I don't know if this is any coincidence but B&J's is no longer in business.?!?!?

I'd like to confess that everything I said I was sick before school I really wasn't. I just didn't want to go. I wanted to stay in my room and play video games. God that sounds a lot like someone I know today. Did you ever go to school and there was a kid who didn't miss a day all year? Then you'd also have the kid who didn't miss a day for the entire time they attended the school. It was always the kid who was a dork and socially inept. Thank God I had an older brother and sister otherwise I might've been that kid who is socially weird and doesn't consume alcohol.

The last thing I'd like to confess is I'd like to say sorry to those girls I slept with that I gave the impression that I may have liked you. There are like 37 girls I wish I had never slept with. The one that gave me crabs & the one I got pregnant that got an abortion are just two of the losers I slept with that I wish I hadn't. Sorry ladies for the mixup it was just Willy Wonka talking!

Jesus/God I hope you forgive me for my mishaps and fuckups. I haven't been perfect and the stubbornness I have is surely one of my downfalls as a human (atleast according to other females)
I hope the love I show towards animals will get me into heaven. Just watch me with my dog. I'll most definitely win you over with the respect and love I show him. God bless you God & Jesus!

gso

P.S. My people feel free to confess something that may put you in grave danger of getting into heaven!!! Or just tell me I'm lame and my blog sucks! Either one works and will make me feel wanted and loved.