That's right, the Captain's back to entertain with true stories of true shit. This one is about a 'friend' of mine and what a worthless and pitiful excuse this guy is for a dude. This dude came in to my circle of friends thru a best friend of mine. He is not like us: he is a little slow, goofy, and has no game. Still, he wasn't a total moron when I met him. Fast-forward 5 years... this dude, 'J' has allowed himself to get fat, spent 7+ years to get an AA degree, still works at the same dumb job (He's like the dude from 40yr-old virgin at the Audio/Video store) which he isn't even good at, spent a shit-load of money on his ugly girlfriend, allowed his girlfriend to cheat on him at a party at his own house...
Ohh, maybe I'll focus on this one. J's gf was in a bed with some dude at a party at his house in the spare bedroom. My boy's busted in on them and the dude said he thought the girl was single. My boy gave him 1 min. to get the fuck out the house... then J walks in and is like, "What are you doin" in his whinin voice. He didn't even do SHIT!!! And they lived together... You're thinking, what a whore right? How about, what a pansy my friend is? So, he didn't kick her out, didn't break up with her. He got humiliated, embarrassed in front of all his friends and didn't do shit.
That wasn't the only time he was done like that. This girl is always on some dude's lap at a party. In fact, she had some guy coming over to the house when J wasn't there. At his own birthday party, this dude showed up wearing a hooded sweatshirt and looking different, like he was in disguise. Lol. J’s gf was in the car with this dude for bout an hour. This went on til my best friend fronted her on it and told her that shit wasn't cool. Then she just started going to his place.
When a song came on the radio, the lyrics go..."I don't wanna know, keep it on the low...", we all turned it up and told him it's his song. The dumbass didn't even comprehend. By taking shit from whores, it only makes it worse. Now, J is whooped, she runs the relationship. She tells him if he can go out and what he can do. She is 22, he is 25! His dumbass commutes to a school 1 hr away cuz she didn't want to go to the same college as him, the one 10 minutes away. It sucks cuz he was decent looking before but now he is all fat with no confidence and is so hideous he caused 3 people to move out of the house due to his walking around with no shirt, showing off all the paleness and blubber.
To all guys out there: Let this shit be a lesson! If some girl works you over, work her back and fucking drop her! If you're too much of a pansy to get her back, still kick her to the curb. No woman is worth this type of humiliation and degradation to mere shit on the street like my friend is. Another thing, if you are moron and you have intelligent friends, listen to them. But what can you expect from a dude whose brother is a traffic-crossing guard at a Indian casino, sister was a stripper, cousin's wife cheated on him with his dad, and basic slowness runs in the family?
11 comments:
hey cut the dude a little slack... maybe he doesn't think he will find anyone else and this is his only chance at a relationship...pump up his self esteem rather then run it down... and chances are he did get the song and just didn't want to let you guys know cuse he's embarressed, I'm the queen of doing that
We tried everything to help him. At this point, he's done, stick a fork in him. Nobody's worth it, if they cheat on you in your home at your own bday party.
But thx for the comments :)
one day a girl was sick and her boyfriend had come over to fix her up and make her feel better... so he brought some soup, brownies, and a tape with some re-runs of the OC and Laguna Beach. He makes the soup and sets everything on a table next to her and pops in the tape. She eats the soup and watches the video. Her boyfriend says that he's gotta go to meet a friend, so he leaves and she breaks out the brownies. She finishes them right as the video tape was over... right after Laguna Beach ends, it cuts to a scene with HER boyfriend getting a blowjob from HER best friend and she spits his cum into the bowl of brownie mix. He looks at the camera and says, "You've just been dumped."
The Duece is Loose!
Any guy can get any girl! The gift of gab goes a long way. Your buddy will come to his senses one of these days....and he'll admit that you guys were right. He should just go out "Hogging" and land him a heavyweight that he can cheat with.
are you sure you didn't steal this story from Jerry Springer? My man definitely is a big loser. He needs to spend a day with me and see how the world should be!
I'm lovin what anonymous wrote.. and I'm also inclinded to agree with him about the heavyweight
Who is this "J" guy? Do I know him?
i didnt write this post. my buddy Dirty Captain did
Anonymous,(aka GMan) that was the best ever and I really appreciated that. I hope to God nobody knows this guy, but he lives in El Cajon and should be on Springer.
**A note, this is only a small piece of info from J's life. I could write daily of his dumbass antics and humiliations.
So does dirty captain have his own website? It sounds like you writing...
dirty captain doesnt have his own website.
he tries to be like me
No website, just helpin out a friend, Greggors. Sometimes, he's challenged on writing intersting blogs due to his boring and normal life.
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