Leon The Zit & The Adventures of Gregg O'Connell

In what will be the last post before "30 Posts in 30 Days" I wanted share a little insight into my life about what happens when I get home from work. Not only that but "Leon the Zit" explores my face only to find himself stuck under my nose without food or water. So enjoy this little video blog of Leon & I as we encounter what life is all about.

Have fun and decorate the world with laughter and joy!

Boy Blogger vs. Girl Bloggers

As 30 posts in 30 days fast approaches I'm left gathering topics to write about, more people to have "flame wars" with online, more people to piss off you name it I'm thinking about writing about it.

Writing in my blog has replaced the feeling of needing to write songs. I've used music as my outlet for expressing myself for every emotion since I was 14 years old. Yes guys you can be straight and have emotions. It doesn't make you a pussy fart for expressing feelings of love, hurt, anger, sadness or horniness. Look me I'm one of the straightest guys you will ever meet. I'm tough, strong & willing to fix anything with my hands.

Having a blog gives me a voice and instant gratification. I can make people laugh, pissed off, make them think twice. They can give me feedback by telling me I'm right, I suck, I'm gay, I'm cheesy, I'm awesome without any waiting.

It's hard being a boy blogger and gaining attention when you basically only write about your life. Girls generally don't care about 20 something year old guys thoughts on Uhaul, twisted testicles, Boy Just Wants to Dance, or tricking Filipinos at lunch. Straight guys definitely don't want to read another straight guys blog. So this leaves me with an audience of gay guys, girls that hate RockStarMommy.com, co-workers who are looking for material to make fun of me with & people that randomly find my website by searching Google.

Girl bloggers can try and be sexy and guys will flock to them like pigeons flock to a lonely piece of bread in a parking lot. Sex sells and guys buy it. They can show a few semi-sexy photos and the guys are hooked. They will keep going because they think just because the girl blogger responds to some of their comments that the girl blogger wants to suck on their Willy Wonka. Well guys guess what she wants to suck on your Willy Wonka bar as much as a gay guy wants to go deep sea fishing! I on the other hand would rather eat the Willy Wonka bar than suck on it.

In conclusion I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. So while my girl blogger counterparts may look good now just wait 3-5 years when they have a baby and their ass grows to the size of Rhode Island. My ass will always look it did when I was 18 - hairy, white & sweaty.

gso

Uhaul

Have you ever rented a Uhaul truck or even just been to one of the Uhaul shops. Fucking A Uhaul is depressing. First of all the employees that work their must have the education of a 2nd grader because they seem like some of the most idiotic people around. The employees all seem unhappy with their jobs as well. One lady was like "I've been here since 6:30 am and it's now 3:00 pm and I still haven't had a lunch." When I hear that kind of shit I'm like fucking stop whining and just take a lunch who gives a shit. It's not like Uhaul is your business and it's going to go under if you take a lunch break. Your job should never come before eating. Eating is what gives you energy and makes your endorphins go wild!

Uhaul is way unorganized. They were misplacing slips for customers. They gave us the receipt of some lady that lived in La Jolla for a totally different truck. They need me and Herbie to step in and run that ship. We'd run it like a Kenyan runner runs a marathon "consistently fast and steady".

Emily & I went to Uhaul on Sunday to reserve a truck so we could finish moving her stuff into my apartment. So while we were waiting in line one lady is screaming at the clerk at the register complaining that they gave her truck away that she had reserved and that they didn't have a replacement for her. Then you have other people in line huffing and puffing swearing under their breath. I should've just said "dude fuckin chill out you meathead" The ones always whining in line are the redneck guys with hats on, scruffy beards & pickup trucks. Like for real what else do they have to do? Go to a bar drink some MGD's/Budweiser and watch NASCAR?!?!?!?

If you can avoid renting a Uhaul truck then skip it at all cost. I must admit their prices aren't that bad. $19.99/day for a 14 foot truck and $.79/mile. But just having to go into a Uhaul, wait in line, hear people bitch and moan and have to deal with idiotic people sucks majorly.

gso

Late Night Chatting

This is a late night chat I had on Sunday night with Justin. Justin is a friend of my cousins. They both visited me in July 2005 for some boy on boy on boy fun. We went to Sea World, museums, slept, played video games, got naked, cried, laughed & ate together. Enjoy my chat with Justin. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two from the master. Maybe you'll learn how to be a real man like me.

justin.faria@gmail.com: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
justin.faria@gmail.com: i love gregg
hes so sexy
makes me horny

me: hey sexy

justin.faria@gmail.com: Hows Em?

me: good
how r u son

justin.faria@gmail.com: living the dream baby
nice cervix, i saw it hows that going for yah

me: what dream

justin.faria@gmail.com: the one with you all naked

me: my life is good
broke but good
when year r u

justin.faria@gmail.com: i got two years left

me: i can make u a senior

justin.faria@gmail.com: im not going to kiss you because your filipino
but yes i know you can "advance me" a few years

me: i want u like a boy wants bacon

justin.faria@gmail.com: how could you not

me: u should leave me a message on my comment line

justin.faria@gmail.com: i read that
thought about it, but now you ruined the suprise
[wink]

me: damn it
call it son
do u love me?

justin.faria@gmail.com: i do

me: em moved in so did her cats
do u think i should think about u more than 2X a day?

justin.faria@gmail.com: of coarse
hehe
why wouldnt you

me: i dunno
isnt it kinda creepy?

justin.faria@gmail.com: never
only if you masturbate

me: oh ok
i miss us

justin.faria@gmail.com: i know i do too baby
btw i got a chicksy
turns out im not gay

me: really?
who is she

justin.faria@gmail.com: no lie son

me: tell me more tell me more did she put up a fight?

justin.faria@gmail.com: LOL nope it was given in
nice grease ref tho

me: haha
photo?

justin.faria@gmail.com: so whats new my man, currently sacked up with a girl you like/love man that sounds like an adventure and a half
foto sure
sent

me: nice
she looks cute

justin.faria@gmail.com: she is
and she is awesome

me: she's a pirate on what ship?

justin.faria@gmail.com: one drawback, she is 17, but hell 3 years aint bad
lol on my ship baby

me: dont touch her!
arrested!!!

justin.faria@gmail.com: lol we can touch
just two places cant
you know while nake
nake which is like naked only more innocent and pure

me: haha
dry hump son

justin.faria@gmail.com: LOL
hehehehehehe
been there done that
[smile]

me: do that with me

justin.faria@gmail.com: we have

me: maybe we can sweat on one another

justin.faria@gmail.com: duh, you got pics of that

me: pics of me and u dry humpin? i fuckin wish!

justin.faria@gmail.com: not naked

justin.faria@gmail.com: smiles, so is em with you right now getting hella jealous as we talk about our love?

me: shes folding my laundry

justin.faria@gmail.com: lol dude shes not like ur mom is she
does she cook ur breakfast and fold ur underwear into three pieces

me: she cooks me breakfast sometimes
dude every guy wants to date their mom as long as its really not ur mom

justin.faria@gmail.com: hehe nope, that would not jive with me
nor with you from what i understand

me: i would love to date u for 3 months and make a man outta u

justin.faria@gmail.com: HAH, i daresay i am more masculine i dont wear pink spandex and sweats hehe

me: i stopped wearing that stuff

justin.faria@gmail.com: lies

me: i love how dirty u r

justin.faria@gmail.com: you made me that way
before you it was all polo and khakis now i wear grease stained leathers,
your fault

me: i'll make u eat my underwear next if u dont stop being so bad

justin.faria@gmail.com: already done that too, but you didnt know
now youll always be inside me

me: thank god our love is so strong

justin.faria@gmail.com: laughs
indeed praise him

me: ill praise ur cock

justin.faria@gmail.com: well, i cant say thats not warranted

justin.faria@gmail.com: you are just so my type if i was gay
i mean its an insignificant detail but still, its there

justin.faria@gmail.com: hey gregg, change your status it says your available.... arent you all tied down now?

me: im tied down by ur love

justin.faria@gmail.com: anchored more like
dude, 30 days straight... you been watching morgan spulock again?

me: of blogging u mean?

justin.faria@gmail.com: roger that

me: u excited about it?
its definitely going to be special
u should let me post this conversation..its entertaining

justin.faria@gmail.com: do it
i love you

me: i love ur ass

justin.faria@gmail.com: you can do whatever you want with me and my words, your my tounge

justin.faria@gmail.com: i love your hair

me: i love the way u move

justin.faria@gmail.com: i love your eyebrow and the fact that it bridges the normal human chhasm to make 2

me: ur good with words and your tongue

justin.faria@gmail.com: i know i practiced on clams when i was younger

End of chat,
gso

Emily's 29th Birthday Celebration

Emily's real birthday isn't until August 28 but I thought I'd celebrate it with dinner, gifts & friends on August 26 since it's a Saturday. I bought Emily 2 shirts from 2 of Gwen Stefani 's clothing labels L.A.M.B & Harajuku. I knew she loved Gwen Stefani but I wasn't sure if she liked her clothing line. So to trick her one day I was looking up clothing online and I was like "Hey Em what celebrities have their own clothing lines" and she's said Gwen Stefani has L.A.M.B. I was like "oh really...why don't you have any of her stuff?" Em says "It's very expensive" After this mini conversation which was just brought you by Proactiv "The Answer For Acne" I knew I made the right purchases for her birthday.

This brings us to Saturday August 26 and the celebration of Miss Emily's birthday. She didn't know anything about what she was getting nor did she know that I had invited some of her friends to the birthday dinner. At 3:00 pm I gave Em her presents. One L.A.M.B tank top, one Harajuku t-shirt & three candles from White Barn. She was as surprised & happy as a fisherman that just pulled in his first big bass of the day.

For dinner I asked Em to be ready for dinner at 7:00 pm at a restaurant to be announced. I brought her to Hunter's Steakhouse. We've been to this place probably 4-5 other times. It's really good steak and I love a good steak as much as the next Gregg. When we arrived at Hunter's I got 2 texts. One from Em's co-worker/friend Melody saying she couldn't make it because she had to get ready for some party the next day. Now this is the lamest thing I've ever heard. All week Melody was telling me I'll be there and I guess she also was trying to get other co-workers of hers to go as well. People in general are flaky but Californians hold the supreme Flaky Championship. The second text was from Em's sister saying "CAKE EMERGENCY I'M RUNNING LATER I'LL BE THERE ASAP" So things at dinner weren't starting out that good. I decided to tell Em that I invited like 8 people to her dinner and that only 5 or 6 would be showing up and most them would be late. It ended up being me, Em, Sesman, his fiance Tammy, their baby Shyanne, Danita (Em's co-worker) & Christina (Em's sister).

Em's sister Christina made the bomb ass cake. It was ice cream cones filled with chocolate cake, & mint chocolate chip ice cream. It was genius! She should have her own Filipino cake cooking show on FoodTV.

On a side note if you ever invite B-Kutt to a party of yours he'll need to get approval in the form of a signed permission slip from his owner/girlfriend Michelle. If he decides he can't go instead of giving a simple "I can't go" He will avoid all emails, texts & phone calls at all cost. It's not that he can't attend parties because if his owner tells him to go to one of her family/friends/friend of a friend's babies mother's parties he will attend. God bless his tired soul.

To all my whipped Peeps I bid you adieu,
gso

Captain's Corner: Do You Have a Cervix

I've added the Dirty Captain to post a weekly blog. This is his first entry...Enjoy!

Something occurred today which concerned me deeply and motivated me to post this. At lunch my exuberant friend was explaining his 1st visit to a doctor in many years. This is because he has been without insurance and has lived as a vagabond. Upon his recent trip he had a wonderful time getting his prostrate ‘examined’ by the male doctor. At lunch today, he asked all us guys if we had our cervix checked lately. Then went on to mention we all need to have it looked at. The stares of shock and dismay scared him into admitting he thought all guys have a cervix. Many hours later after much humiliation, my friend was left alone to wallow in his stupidity and shame.I felt a little bad for him and am concerned for other small-minded dudes. To ‘rectify’ this situation, below is a definition.

Hopefully, this will end the confusion:According to Tracee Cornforth in Gregg’s favorite magazine, Women’s Health, “The cervix is the lower third portion of the uterus which forms the neck of the uterus that opens into the vagina. The narrow opening of the cervix is called the os. The os allows menstrual blood to flow out, and widens during labor to allow the passage of the fetus through the vagina during childbirth” “The cervix is covered by the epithelium which is made of a thin layer of cells. The cells of the epithium are either squamous or columnar. Squamous cells are flat and scaly, while columnar cells appear column-like. “

hmmm, yum…

The Cats Have Arrived!

In Emily's on going process of moving into my apartment with me she took one giant leap forward and dropped off her kitty cats. Their names are Pilikia & Sybil just in case I use them in future episodes of videos or blog entries.

On the way back from picking them up from her apartment and bringing them here the cats were going crazzzzzzzzzy. For like 20 minutes straight they meowed/cried. My vocal chords would be shot if I made the same sound for 20 minutes straight. Thank God I only last 3 minutes in bed.

Upon arriving at our house they met the infamous Herbie Schnauzenberg. They immediately hid in a corner so Herbie couldn't get them. Herbie huffed and puffed trying to get a whiff of their sweet soft fur. When he started barking at them they furred up and hissed at my little man. It's not that Herbie wants to bite them or even play with them he just wants to smell them and see who they really are under all that fur. I love smelling things does that make me a dog too?

Emily setup this barrier 4 boxes across 2 boxes high and while Emily was in there Herbie some how jumped over all the boxes ad knocked over some water in the process. Herbie is very persistent (like me). Herbie is not a daring dog and for him to jump over something not knowing what's on the other side is very out of the ordinary for him.

So we're hoping with time and loving care that Herbie, Pilikia & Sybil can all live in harmony one day. It may be 4 weeks or 4 years from now but harmony will prevail. Harmony is so sweet especially when we have gang members shooting innocent civilians while they are at the ice cream truck getting one of those plastic ice cream cones with the gumball at the bottom. Now that shit is whack and unharmonious!

gso

30 Posts in 30 Days/Comment Line

A couple of major major things coming up! Now you may need to read this twice because it's so confusing, exciting & moving. Starting September 1, I will be making a blog entry for every single day in September. 30 Posts in 30 Days! Fascinating isn't it? If I have nothing to write about I'll write about how many times I went pee or what I ate that day. So please get ready to visit my site not just Monday through Friday but also Saturday & Sunday as well. I know you're excited because there are no cool holidays in September except "30 Posts in 30 Days".

My second piece of business is I have this comment line (619) 377-0593. Call the fucking thing please and leave me a message. Tell me how much you hate me, love me, if you have a problem and you need advice or anything else. I want to do a weekly audio post where I put up the best of the best voicemails into a single mp3 file. Call it (619) 377-0593!!! Shit here's a topic if you have no idea of what to say "Why do you dislike terrorists?" be brutally honest, the funnier the better! thanks skum bags :)

I've got a busy end of the week this week. Thursday I'm going to Angels vs. Red Sox in Anaheim. Friday I have the day off from work so I can get some sleep and do some errands (maybe haircut for Herbie & I and prepare for Em's B-day). Saturday I'm celebrating Emily's birthday with her. I'll let you know what I actually got her and did for her after her birthday. I'd love to tell you now but she reads my website. Sunday I'm helping Emily move the rest of her stuff into my apartment (bed, tables, chairs, dildos, ladders, etc...) If you'd to help us move her stuff into my place I'm giving away coupons for buy one entree and 2 drinks and get the second entree free to anyone that is willing to help us.

From one Schlitz to another Schlitz
Shalom,
Gregg

Fuck The Terrorists

I haven't seen my dad since November 2004. He was planning on visiting me this year from September 10-13. He then was going to fly up to San Jose to see his friend and attend his friend's daughters wedding from September 13-20.

Now after all the new airplane security rules and threats he is scared to fly and has canceled his trip. Those terrorists are a bunch of crazy son of bitches. They'll blow themselves to kill a few people so they can go to heaven. Get a few lousy in bed virgins and try to disrupt Western society. I'm not one for violence (see pussy) but if I was on a plane and saw one of those mofo's trying to blow up a plane I was on I would fucking bite his ear off, spit in his face, grab his balls and massage them
twist them to the left and right and then I'd take his bomb and defuse it. After all of this I would kiss the weeping big breasted girl at the end of the aisle with my dried chapped lips and tell her everything will be alright as long as there isn't another bomb aboard the plane that I don't know about.

I blame the terrorists for not being able to see my dad and I blame my dad for being scared of these ugly motherfucking terrorists. Shit who am I kidding?!?! I'd be scared shitless too if I had planned to fly during the 5 year anniversary of September 11. I'm already scared I'm going to have an anxiety attack on a plane now add terrorism threats to my flight. I'd be throwing up while I checked in at the airport huffing and puffing for a single breath while I was light headed.
I guess I could take a pill but what fun is that when you can feel like you're going to die?!?!

gso

Ethan Gregory O'Connell

I'd like to welcome my newest nephew to the world Ethan Gregory O'Connell. He was born on August 19 and weighed in at 6 lbs 12 oz and 20 inches long. It's my brother's second child and his first son.

I know for sure I want kids and I'll be excited when I do have them. It's weird because I'm not like "ohhhh look at that baby he's so cute". Nor when I see a kid do I feel the want/need to go play with them. I would definitely do that with my own kids but other kids don't get me all that excited.

We should start a pool of when my first baby will be born?!?!?!

gso

p.s.
my nephews middle name is awesome isn't it!!! FYI the photo in this blog isn't my nephew.

Erica & Stowie Have Moved Out Officially

It's been a week of "official" announcements. RSM officially admitted defeat and now Erica & Stowie have officially moved out of the apartment I shared with them.

It was definitely time for Erica and I to not live with one another. We've lived together since 2002 and even after we broke up we still lived together. She was sick of me and wanted a place of her own and she found just that.

She found a place more in the inner city and it's about 15 minutes away from where I live. When I first checked out this place she moved into 2 weeks ago it had a note on the door that read "Please keep this door shut as there have been multiple burglaries in this apartment in the last few months." That would scare the shit out of me but she has decided to stick with the apartment and try it out.

I'm really going to miss her dog Stowie. I've been with him his entire 2 1/2 years of life. I'll miss his energy and kisses. I'll still see him when Erica works her 2nd job at night and drops him off but it's not the same. Him being gone makes me want to get another dog so Herbie doesn't get crazy bored.

Emily will start moving her stuff into the apartment on August 27. So until then it looks as if Herbie & I have an empty apartment all to ourselves. If you'd like to send Herbie & I get well cards you can to gregg@greggoconnell.com.

Lonely & Sad,
gso + Herbie

P.S.
we miss you Stow Stow!

Screwing with Filipinos at Lunch

My department is broken up into 6 different groups. Out of about 50 employees probably 15-20 of them are Filipino. One of the groups which has 5 employees are all Filipino and are all from the Philippines. Their English is ok but not as good as someone that has lived her for their entire life which is understandable.

This same group always eat lunch at 11:00 am and ALWAYS sit at the same lunch table. They all share lunch together. It's usually something fish based and always with white rice. I've been thinking lately what I could do to fuck with them and mess up their monotony. I was originally thinking of taking an early lunch and sitting at their table before them and see what they say. Ha ha they would definitely tell me to move. We call them the "Filipino Mafia" because they all stick together and if one hates you then they all hate you and vice versa.

I decided on writing a letter and leaving it on the table they sit at. It was going to say the table is reserved for someone else and to please not sit there. Now this is very ridiculous because no one ever reserves lunch tables because there are always plenty of tables. But I knew they would believe the letter. The letter I wrote is completely absurd ha ha. Here it is:

"THIS TABLE IS RESERVED FOR A
PIZZA PARTY TODAY @ 11:05 AM.
PLEASE RESPECT OUR WISHES AND
SIT AT ANOTHER TABLE SO MY
GROUP CAN ENJOY A RIGHTEOUS
PIZZA PARTY.

THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION

Soandso Onthego"

Look at the name So And So On The Go
haha!

When I went out to the cafeteria for lunch I found that they actually were sitting at a different table. When they went back to work after lunch my co-worker Curly John told them that I had written the note. So when I got back one of the women came up to me in her heavy accent and says
"What you jealous?" "I know that was joke no one ever reserve table in lunch room" She was so pissed I loved it! I'm so fuckin immature!!!

My experiment worked! They actually can function and eat at a different lunch table.

gso

RockStarMommy.com OFFICIALLY Admits Defeat

In the public forum that is the internet. RockStarMommy.com of Philadelphia, PA has officially given up, backed down, admitted defeat in our war of words on the internet.
The big bang went down yesterday when I continued to post comments on her website about how she is conceited and a whiny person (hmm haha sounds like someone else too) Some of my co-workers joined in the fight yesterday against RockStarMommy.com after reading her website and seeing how crazy/annoying/conceited she really is. She may officially be worse than me in relation to internet addiction. We were posting comments and then literally 2 minutes after posting them she deleted them or edit them. She blamed me for all the comments made even though I was only to blame for the ones that showed my name.

She threatened to ban me from her website because she couldn't fight back. It was literally her and her married 20ish year old white overweight mother fans against lonely me. And she still couldn't come back with anything that was funny or interesting. The best thing they came up with is "Gregg O'Commentwhore" and I must admit that was pretty good. I may just buy the domain name.

By the end of the day RockStarMommy.com banned me from her website. But this didn't last for long as she found out. I can still visit her website and post comments by connecting to her site via a proxy server.

Thanks for the easy fight and win. You showed no heart or sense of humor and the fans of your website can surely see that. I am undefeated in internet wars of words and I challenge anyone to a duel!

Bring it RockStarMommy.com fans because I already brought it! ohhhhhhhhhh shooooooooot!

O'Connell Rules!

gso

Saint's Row

As you all know I love video games. I waited like 17 hours in line in November 2005 in order to get an Xbox 360 for launch. There's been a few good games for Xbox 360 but mostly a lot of them have been mediocre games. Saint's Row is basically a carbon copy of Grand Theft Auto except a little more raunchy. I've played the demo and it's an awesome game.

In Saint's Row you can smoke weed & drink alcohol. When you take in these adult drugs the screen gets blurry. If you intake too much of that stuff you start to throw up. I love doing things I did when I was 14 years old. You really can't beat driving around in a car hitting random people or driving head on into another car and watching that car flip over. You can run up to people on the street and shoot them in the head or beat them down with a baseball bat. It's super violent but very fun. Violence is always fun when there are no consequences.

I'm the last person in the world to hit someone haha but to be able to do it in virtual reality is a lot of fun. Video games don't make people violent - they way they were brought up and the experiences they went through growing up makes them a violent person.

Love is God,
Gregg

Karaoke is DEFINITELY for Asians

On Friday night a co-worker of mine threw a little get together at her house after work. First off she is Asian, Filipino to be exact and was born in the Philippines. And as you know Asian people LOVE karaoke. They sing it at bars, parties, alone at their house.

So on Friday my co-worker friend Angelica had us over for dinner and karaoke. I had never been to a party that had karaoke as the main form of entertainment. I got there and another one of my co-workers was singing at the top of her lungs some cheesy adult love song. You know one of those songs that makes you want to kill yourself. Something Vanessa Williams might sing.

As the night went on more and more cheesy love songs were sung by my Asian counterparts. You would never find a white American family singing karaoke in their living room passing the microphone back and forth between family members. White people are very up tight in regards to singing/dancing unless they are intoxicated. Asian people can sit around karaoking (I think I made this word up) all night screaming out that their heart is broken from a lover that hurt them so bad that they can't bare to live another day so they just want to die. Those kind of songs are Asian favorites!

I made a complete mockery of the whole thing. Seth and I were dueting on songs both of us could barely sing. We sang Y.M.C.A by The Village People, Superstition by Stevie Wonder, Power of Love by Huey Lewis & many more songs. By the end of the night my voice was shot and my pride was bruised. Well ok my pride wasn't bruised but I did have a lot of fun singing karaoke in someone's living room with a bunch of people watching. It's definitely much easier and fun dueting on songs. I'd feel like a complete asshole and shy if I was singing alone. Karaoke is hard!

So I've come to the conclusion that "Karaoke is DEFINITELY for Asians". It seems more fitting to the lifestyle they lead. You know white rice, fish & karaoke go very well together. White people can stick to sporting programs & buffalo wings as party entertainment.

I don't think personally I would ever get a karaoke machine for my house to use at parties but I would definitely join in on one if it were at a party. The next party I go to will probably be like a year from now since I don't like people or parties. So please so one please throw a karaoke party so I can attend and dance and sing the night away like a young Asian girl.

Sing! Sing! Sing!
Gregg

Mr. Nature Part II (Video + Photos)

Remember like 1 week ago I was complaining about how I bought some nuts out of the vending machine at work and they were soft. (Mr. Nature Has Soft Old Nuts)

Well when I got home today I got a little tag from UPS that said I had missed them and they had a package for me. At first I thought the package was Emily's birthday present I ordered from online but that's not coming for a few more days. So I decided to call UPS and find out who it was from.

"Hello UPS can I have your info #..." "Yes it's blah blah blah ...can you tell me who that package is from" ...
"Yes sir it's from Mr. Natsato"
"Who?!?!"
"Mr. Nature"
"Oh ok can I pick up the package"
"Yes!"

So I go pick up the package at UPS around 8 pm. When I get home I open the box and I find like literally 15 different package of nuts from Mr. Nature along with a letter saying sorry.

I was shocked that they actually sent me a box full of nuts, a letter & did this all in less than a week from receiving my letter. They obviously care about their customers. Mr. Nature was right when he said "Good Nuts are Good Health"

Checkout the photoset

Download the video "Mr. Nature Strikes Back"

or

Stream it below



I don't really have a lisp it just sounds like that in the video cause the camera we used is weird. It does make the video funny though!

Flame War: RockStarMommy.com vs. GreggOConnell.com

I am in the middle of a heated "Flame War" with RockStarMommy.com. What's a flame war you ask? Well its "When an online discussion degenerates into a series of personal attacks against the debaters, rather than discussion of their positions. A heated exchange."

It all started when I began posting comments with my website address on her flickr page. She started posting back comments back to me calling me "40 year old virgin" b/c of my photoset of wrestling action figures.

When she started attacking me on flickr I ventured over to her website RockStarMommy.com to see what was going on over there. I instantly saw she was getting a shit load of comments and all of them are from her friends kissing her ass. "You're so hot" "I love your boobs" "you got a great rack" "you look fantastic in that photo". I mean come on how much ass kissing can one person handle. Damn I would kill for that kind of ass kissing but I don't get it b/c you dick4's (that's a compliment) don't post anything on my site.

I started commenting that all her fans of her site are ass kissers and that RockStarMommy is conceited and full of herself (I know I am too). Man I got flamed in every which direction. People began to threaten to hack my website, they started making website names up like "Greg-let-me-pimp-my-fucking-site-just-one-more-time-oconnel!", they also said
"Gregg O'Commentwhore is just jealous that you won't share your readers.".

I mean come on where my soldiers at? I need some help fighting these hooligans. They are all like 25 year old married lladies with kids and have been that way for a few years. Don't they have kids to take car of or asses to wipe or jobs to go to type documents at.

I hope the war continues because she's sending over some very nice traffic my way.
Thanks RockStarMommy!
Love you're newest enemy!

gregg

How to Wash your Hair (Video)

I'm the king of "How to" videos. Sure most if not all of them suck, but they are fun to make! Especially for that percentage of the population that doesn't know how to do certain things and then you have me showing them just how to do it!

In this "how to" video I get naked, nude, wet, soapy & showered all over my pale white body. I show you how to wash your hair. You get tips in what shampoo/conditioner to use, what methods to use when washing, how to rinse the soap out and you get to see my shoulders a lot!

If you like naked 26 year old guys in the shower than this is your video!

Download "How to wash your Hair"

or

Stream it below

My Bachelor's Life has Ended

My days as a bachelor ended on Saturday August 5, 2006 @ 9:48 pm when Emily arrived back safely from her Hawaiian escape. I want to thank all of you who supported me and for the 2 of you that hung out with me in my time of need(ing attention).

While she was away I got back into my routine of running (from the cops) more often and eating a lot less fast food and soda. I feel more energetic physically and I'm ready to face my demons of eating bad and working out less head on. I'm going to force Em and I to be the couple that won't stop running until our little 10 ounce hearts stop beating, our lungs don't fill up with oxygen anymore and we pass away from heat exhaustion.

I'm going to try and hangout with friends more than I have. I always want to spend every last minute of free time I have with Em. I need to not forget the little people that praise me and believe I am the one. The "one" what you ask? The "one" true being in San Diego. I'm more honest than Pastor Miles McPherson (he lies to get young adults to go to his church so that he makes more money - it's a fuckin cult watch out!!!) from the Rock Church & more obedient than a police dog. I'll make your dreams come true more often than Regis Philbin and I'll direct you to more good restaurants than Sign on San Diego.

Ok I'll stop! I'm starting to annoy myself too. It's nice to have Em back. She's my own Barbara Bush. She keeps me steady when times are fucked.

the myth buster,
gso

Mr. Nature has Soft Old Nuts

Dear Mr. Nature,

I recently purchased a pack of your unsalted energizer mix. I regret to inform you that while eating the nuts in the package I found them to be rather soft, wet and definitely without the satisfaction of crunch that always comes from eating nuts. I've purchased your products in the past and found them to be satisfactory. I've included the package as proof of purchase. I'm a big fan of nuts and these definitely didn't live up to my expectations. May God bless each and every one of you that works at Mr. Nature. I hope and pray that no one else ever has to go through what I went through. Being unsatisfied is one of life's great down falls. Please feel free to contact me via mail, email or phone I'd love to hear from you guys. Keep up the good work with everything else.


I mailed Mr. Nature this complaint today. I'm hoping my 39 cent postage investment will pay off with some coupons but to also improve quality control at Mr. Nature. So watchout for Mr. Nature's nuts they don't perform to the expectations of other nuts & I know my nuts!

gregory

Online Background Checks

I've been hearing a lot lately on the news and internet of employers doing background checks on potential employees by doing a Google search of their name and a Myspace name search to see what they come up with. They're looking for revealing photos, comments & blogs.

Obviously not everyone a company hires is a saint. People like to have fun and party. But is there partying weekend personality that shows up online in a photo gallery a good representation of the kind of worker they are? Not at all I know plenty of people that get wasted every weekend and come in Monday morning ready to kick ass and laugh at my jokes.

I would never ever want to work for a company that went that in depth with a background check. Damn if you do a online search of my name you'll come up with some interesting stuff; everything from sexy dance videos to podcasts to weird photos of me to twisted testicle stories. Does any of this show the kind of worker I am? No! I go to work and get my shit done. If a company found my website and saw something they didn't like and told me to take it down I wouldn't. It's free speech I can say and do basically whatever I want just like its their right to fire me if they'd like to over anything. I would feel like such a pussy if I bowed down to a company over my website. My website is my outlet of emotions. It's my whining board. It's my platform to express myself anyway I want. I love my website so fuck companies that do online background checks and long live Dr. Martin Luther King!

Fighting for your First Amendment,
gso