Today was definitely my day! Good thing after good thing happened to me today. I definitely didn't have ole Gazoo sitting on my shoulder causing havoc that's for sure!I got into work today at my normal time of 5:30 am. After a few hours passed I decided to go to the bathroom to drain my lizzy. When I got back to my desk what do I see? I see a beautiful wrapped present sitting on top of my keyboard just waiting for the wrapping paper to be ripped to shreds. I see it's from my main man Bill Kutters. I open the package slowly and by this time I have 3 co-workers sitting around me practically drooling because the excitement of opening a Christmas present early is so mind numbing. I open the package completely up and what do I find? A custom made calendar of photos of "My Best Friend" Herbie. Bill downloaded a bunch of pictures of Herbie and made it into a 2007 calendar. I was so stoked when I saw this that I almost came in my pants.
10:00 am arrives and it's now time for my 6 month review. I always get kind of nervous when I have to sit down one on one even if I know the person really well. My breathing gets heavy and my heart races like a 100 meter sprinter on steroids. I go into the review knowing that my review should be pretty good. They start off the interview by telling me my bonus (good) ...raise (cool) ..."Gregg and we're also giving you a PROMOTION TO SENIOR" When they said this to me I felt like Miss America when she wins and that creepy guy starts singing "There she is, Miss America". When they told me I got a promotion I should have totally started into a speech "First off I wanna thank my lord and savior Jesus Christ..and my momma for raising me even though daddy wasn't around". You know one of those fluff speeches! Ok let's get back on track. This is also my first ever promotion at a job so it felt good to actually have worked hard for something and have something cool come out of it.
At around 11:45 am I check my websites traffic logs and see a bunch of traffic coming from italk2much.com. They are basically this website that picks 3 blogs each day and reviews them. Well today they picked my website and gave it generally good reviews (read the review).
The only things they trashed on my site are my punctuation which I totally agree sucks. I never know when and where to put a comma. Is there like a 4th grade class I can take online for punctuation and grammar? They also trashed the look of my website. They didn't like the color scheme and they even have this fucking cheesy acronym BTOD = Black Template of Death. I have the black background which I guess a lot of newbie bloggers do. Shit if knew how to make a cool template for my blog I would but, I'm just using shit other people made. Someone please fucking help me!!! howtokillpeople.com can you be my template savior??? I'll give you a ookie cookie if you help me! Otherwise they liked my writing and thought I was funny and crazy for taking photos of myself in a skirt. Don't they know I just do that shit to get attention because I'm a fucking egomaniac and my dad wasn't around?!?!
Around 12:30 I go to the lizzy again to let all the days water I drank out. When I get back to my desk I find a card with my name on it "Gregg". I open it up and find a gift card to Starbucks from a co-worker of mine whom I helped with her testing modules. I'm like "God damn this is a really good day. What have I done to deserve this? I must be on Buddah's good side!" Plus what's up with me going to the bathroom and then coming back to find a present on my desk. I'm going to try going to the bathroom more times than I usually do tomorrow in hopes more presents will be sitting on it.
Happy Holidays!
gso
16 comments:
awesome about the promo... and good luck with the whole go to the bathroom and get a present thing.. that only happened to me when I was 2 and getting potty trained... I got a life saver.. to this day i can't have a lifesaver without having to pee
Hiya!
I found you via IT2M...a little helpful hint for your punctuation.....read everything you write either outloud or quietly...whenever you need to breath it's a comma eg: I went to work today and saw my best friend ,(breathe).
When the sentence seems to end naturally to you, or your voice dips downwards or upwards, it's a full stop.
eg: I went to work today and saw my best friend, he told me he was going to knit himself a mini skirt.(voice goes up).
It's a little tip I learnt froma writer friend, hope it helps. If you aren't in a situation to read things out loud, read it aloud in your head, but breathe naturally.
Sorry for the ramble :)
Kind regards
Whisky
xx
www.whiskyminx@blogspot.com or search on google for whisky and coke
julianne: maybe I should eave a jar of lifesavers on my desk as a little treat for going pee pee
anonymous: thx for the tip! Sounds easy enough! :)
Actually, no comma is required in the example Whisky gave you. "I went to work today and saw my best friend, he told me he was going to knit himself a mini skirt" should have been "I went to work today and saw my best friend. He told me he was going to knit himself a mini skirt" sometimes too many commas are just as bad as not enough commas. :-)
btw: The guy who got you the calendar must be the coolest guy in the world.
anonymous: it's an anonymous punctuation war! I'm not absolutely confused so I'm never going to use commas PERIOD!
gso
Use these ( ) instead.
haha that would be funny if all I used were parenthesis for everything!
gregg is such a cool dude but (he likes the color pink).
Yes! Perfect!
You should try to use predicates more often.
erica: you should use more adverbs
What are adverbs again? That's right - I didn't think you knew.
An adverb is a word that adds information to a verb, an adjective, or an adverb. An adverb is often a form of an adjective in English. Very, quickly, and beautifully are all adverbs.
Tell me honestly - you didn't look that up.
I bet if you go to the loo again, you'll get a present from the Cave Troll or the securinator.
BTW,
I liked reading your intimate email with your supervisor.
LMAO!!!
the cave troll is lamerz!
i dont wanna ever see that dude!
you love initimate emails that aren't intimate!
I give Emma(the dog) cookies(dog treats) every time she pees outside...She must think its Christmas everyday.
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