Last Day of 30 Posts in 30 Days

When this all began 30 days ago I was thinking to myself "what can I do that will challenge me mentally and physically?" I got it! 30 posts in 30 days! Well this is probably the first time in my life where I set a semi lengthy goal for myself and I succeeded!

I'm now a person all kids can look up to and try to aspire to be. I'm officially a role model. Kids can now say to their parents, teachers & friends "I want to be the next Gregg O'Connell". He doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs. He writes good music, is funny, good looking, sweet, kind, giving, selfish, amazing, weird & straight. He's the person I dream to be one day! Kids get your parents credit card and order your Gregg O'Connell t-shirts ASAP. Christmas is around the corner so don't be the only kid on your block without this "wicked cool" t-shirt.

A lot happened this month from having to give advice to a college kid "Tom Jordan", I made 2 videos, I gave a ride to a hitchhiker that smelled like pee and cigarettes, I wrote about a girl that has to be naked to go pooh, I wrote about a girl that got stomach aches from blow jobs, etc...

It was hard and kind of aggravating to force myself to write every single say. Some days I would forget I had to write. I'd be in bed and be like "Fucking shit I have to write in my damn blog" but I ended up sticking to my psychotic plan and I succeeded just like George Bush did when he stole the 2000 election.

Tomorrow will be first day off in 30 days and I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to sniff a little Coca Cola from the table and I'll do some laundry. So enjoy the most holy day of the week.

Love the best blogger on the internet,

Gregg

I Love...

I love Herbie
I love Emily
I love my family
I love candy
I love video games
I love water
I love HDTV
I love Stowie
I love my friends
I love music
I love Bravo
I love white rice & soy sauce
I love Asian people
I love pizza
I love cheeseburgers
I love fries
I love filet mignon
I love apples
I love oranges
I love my blog
I love my iPod
I love warm showers
I love Autumn
I love Massachusetts
I love San Diego
I love processing transfers
I love life
I love love

gso

My Love Affair With David Venable

You don't know David Venable? Mr. Venable is a host on the shopping TV network QVC. He sells everything from food to clothes on there. He is an amazing human being. I could watch him for hours on the TV. Me watching him on TV is like a young girl watching Laguna Beach and wishing she was one of those slutty girls. I wish I had the perfection and charisma that David has.

My love affair began when I started watching the TV shopping networks sometime ago. I began to see patterns among all the hosts. They were either way fake and over the top or just plain boring. Then I found David! David is fucking amazing on TV. He makes everything he sells seem so tasty or neat to use. I was watching one day and this old lady called in to say how much she loved him and how awesome it was then he sent that autographed photo of himself to her. So I decided to shoot him an email and say the same thing and that I'd love an autographed photo of him. 3 Weeks later I get an autographed photo of David Venable. This made my day , week, month and year!

He's got perfect hair, skin, finger nails & smile. He's seems so clean that I would actually eat food out of his hands. That's saying a lot because I'm a bit of a germ freak. Give that man a piece of cake and I'll be licking his finger tips clean. David probably gets manicures & washes his hands with Palmolive. Being that perfect must be a lot of work and I give him much praise.

If you have ever watched David Venable on TV you're probably thinking the same thing as me "Is David Venable gay?" He has the gay lisp and he acts a little fruity. I'm really waiting for him to have a semi breakdown on air and tell us that he is a full blown homosexual. It wouldn't bother me either way. My love for his on screen character would still be as strong and heartfelt as ever.

If you would like to see what all the fuss is about for the awesome David Venable then tune to QVC. He'll amaze and enchant you. He must know things we regular people can only dream about. David Venable for President in 2008!

gso

Bands to Check Out!

Ok I'm running low on things to write about and I'm really getting burnt out. This 30 posts in 30 days is pretty hard but not as hard as I thought it would be. Putting yourself in the public eye is refreshing and scary at the same time. When I think of the people that read this website ( Dirty Captain, Emily, Erica, Julianne B, Dirty & White guys searching for Peter Griffin) it's awfully stressful. Being on top of my game day in and day out takes me to the brink of insanity. Do you really want to see me go insane?

So in an attempt to keep you (my readers) in touch with reality and good music. I will now give you insight into some of the coolest underground bands that are out there that you may not know about and the albums that are really good by the artist! So here are 5 albums/artists to go buy/download!

Lemonheads - Lemonheads (2006) It's their new self titled album and it's their first new album in 8 years! Their best album since "Shame About Ray".

Ben Kweller - Ben Kweller (2006) This may be his best album yet. It has awesome melodies and harmonies and the songs are solid like a bunch of bricks holding down a body in the deep blue ocean.

Matt Pond PA - Several Arrows Later (2005) My absolute favorite band right now. The songs are pretty and sad. They remind me of New England. Oh how I long for some of my moms home cooking and some Chinese chicken fingers!

Imogen Heap - Speak For Yourself (2005) This album is so sexy and relaxing. It'll make you feel like you are in love even while you're at work. It's a mood setter just like candles at night in a bedroom with a naked woman with the lights low.

Rogue Wave - Descended Like Vultures (2005) This album is so good from the first track to the last. You can dance to it slightly, sleep to it, make love to it & drive at night with the windows down. So Hit the wind head on with this album and you're ears will shake with glee.

Not only are you a smart music fan but you're also a cooler one now. To quote the great Barbara Walters "The world may be full of fourth-rate writers but it's also full of fourth-rate readers."
So be the one on your block that has not only a good ear but also a nice tight bum.

gso

I Don't Fit The Description...So What?!?!

In the ever changing atmosphere that is work politics another co-worker of mine who is currently the team leader is leaving to go to another department. This will leave my group without any senior member or team leader. Perfect for me right? Probably not only because I think most people think of me as too much of a jokester and too crazy overall. Even though I'm totally kick ass and I'm definitely the go to guy on my team for questions and such I'll probably only get senior which is a pay raise but nothing really new in terms of responsibility. I won't find out anything until December so I have a few months to be the Michael Jordan of Account Transfers and maybe even kiss some major ass. The kissing ass I can't do and never could. I would never go out of my way to be fake it in order to get something in life. That's a big turn off for me. I've got the punk rawk mentality!

I've never fit into a typical mold in anything I've ever done. When I played music I didn't do drugs or drink heavily like most musicians do, I love technology but I'm not the typical 4 eyed geek I'm more like the Queer Eye for the Straight Eye kinda geek. My personality when you first meet me makes me seem like I'm all crazy and wild and I love to party but I'm the complete opposite I love being inside and doing nothing. The safety of the indoors warms my heart like a loaf of bread in the oven.

This should hold true for me being a team leader or supervisor as well. Just because I'm not the typical person who might fit the description of a team leader or supervisor doesn't mean I can't do the same or better job. I just take a different approach at dealing with people than most people. I like making people feel like they can be themselves around me no matter what. Nothing in life should always be super serious. When you're at work in order to be happy you need to be social, comfortable, be able to joke around, etc...

So to all my haters who think I'm just a joke, a loser, a piece of cheese left out too long so now I'm hard as rock you all are just jealous of the phenomenon that is Gregg O'Connell. The water that flows into the mighty ocean is the same water that comes from the sky. And I am from the sky.

Lieutenant O'Connell

Thizz Face

I feel like it's my job to make my readers socially aware of issues and faces that are generating buzz in the world. Knowing the inner and outer workings of the beast that is pop culture makes you look and feel important. It shows the world think that you are somebody. That you are the coolest fat ass on your block. Go ahead girl show off that new tattoo (aka tramp stamp) on your lower back we all like seeing how much more sexy you really are because of that tattoo.

Let's get to the good stuff. Since I'm informing you of "Thizz Face" you most likely have no idea what the fuck it really is or means. Well "Thizz Face" is the face that you make when you pop 3 or more ecstasy pills. It's the same face you make when you smell a little piss and shit. That nasty face you make when you smell or taste something disgusting.

You're probably telling me but Gregg I don't take ecstasy but I really want to make the "thizz face" like everyone else. Well you definitely can make the "thizz face" without being a teenage club ecstasy addicted wannabee. Go up to a pile of hot steamy dog poop and take a big whiff of that, Next have your "partner" take a photo of your face as you come up for some fresh air. That kind of polluted air will rock you a new facial expression very quickly.

Kids go ahead share the "thizz face" with mom and dad and all of your friends. Do the "thizz face" before you become addicted to drugs so that when you do start taking ecstasy you can be "thizzing" out with such professionalism that your friends will be wondering if you've been doing ecstasy all along!

gso

Gay Plug

My friend we'll call her "Ashante" yes a real life friend not one of those creepy "cyber friends" was telling me how she has this friend who is gay. Well she asked her gay male friend while he was heavily intoxicated with booze and electrolytes if he was a pitcher or catcher. He replied pitcher because there is no way that he could wear one of those "ass plugs" all day. My friend "Ashante" was like "what?!?!?!" He goes onto to tell her that most gay men wear "ass plugs" in their bungholes all day to make it wide for passionate evenings of homoeroticism.

Imagine walking around all day with some thing stuck up your ass. I can't even imagine some dude getting on top of me and having his way with my inner being let alone having an "ass plug" shoved up my ass like it's nothing odd.

I also asked "Ashante" since he isn't a catcher then how does his better half get off. "Ashante" with all her black spirit said that he pleasures his male counterparts with hand dukies and oral kindness. I thought to myself wow I could never live like that. That's like eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without the peanut butter and jelly. It's also like drinking water but later finding out later that it was tap water and not delicious mountain spring water.

From one gay straight guy to all gay males that only get to catch I feel for you dudes. You can see the sun but you don't get to bask in all those cancerous rays. Good day and God Bless you all!

gso

What Does $39.99 Buy?

$39.99 can buy you many things. Most of them interesting and useful and some that are just useless.

You can buy a
A-Lotta Water Vase and get this all the water comes from the vase itself! It's very mystifying. It sounds relaxing and useful!

You can buy a
Dell 8X DVD-Rom Drive. Well you can if your Dell hasn't already blown up or caught on fire. Sounds dangerous!

or you can buy a
Bobster Road Hog Motorcycle Goggles Glasses. Get this the lenses are interchangeable. Talk about some cool glasses and to top it all off the lenses are anti-fog!!! These glasses sound not only wonderful but extremely useful especially when I'm on my hog cruising the lonely highways of America.

BUT

if you want to be really cool and smart with your money you can get the Xbox 360 Live Vision Camera. It's really a geek's dream. Chatting face to face with your friends all over the world from the comfort of your living room. Sending wicked cool photos of your dog to your friends on Live. And don't forget about playing Uno online while you watch your friends live on cam!

$39.99 it's the new fun!
Checkout my photoset of my new camera in action!

gso

greggoconnell.com memorabilia: Ripped Gap Hipster Khakis

I went to work today and like all Fridays it's casual dress. So I don't need to wear a tie. I wore a green and white short sleeve button up shirt and army greenish khakis.

So I get to work and get situated and decide to go say happy birthday to my buddy John. Like every other guy I talk to I bend over to talk to him and as I do this the guy I'm training who now has a nice view of my ass goes "Dude your pants are ripped in the ass" hmm "really I say?"
I turn my sweet ass to John and he confirms the bad "ass" news. I then turn and look for myself and see a big slit right down my left ass cheek.

The rip exposes my boxer shorts. Thank God I wore underwear because otherwise my white hairy pimpled ass would be showing and I know no one wants to see that not even the boys at work that like dudes. So to save face and act like it's cool I went around to different people and I'm like "want to see something funny? Look at the rip in the ass of my pants!" This not only saved me the embarrassment of people walking behind me and seeing my ugly ass boxers but it also made me look like I really didn't care and that I have more confidence than a stripper at a strip club.

My rip is your gain. Own a piece of history today and bid on a pair of ripped in the left ass cheek Gap Hipster green khakis sized 33/32.

Let's start the bidding off at $5. Shipping is $3.99 and I only accept Paypal!
To bid just post a comment with your email address and bid amount.
Auction ends on Monday September 25, 2006 @ 6:00 am PST.

Good luck and own your own piece of GreggOConnell.com memorabilia TODAY!

gso

Help! I Can't Get on the Internet

I got a voicemail at 6:04 pm from my mom. listen to the voicemail
"Gregg I can't get on the internet, I sent you an email" Ha ha I'm thinking to myself how the hell can she email me but not be on the internet.

My mom has had a computer for two years and doesn't know when to left click, right click or double click. She doesn't know how to get to her Desktop nor does she know how to access her photos. I must answer like once a month the same questions ever month. It's very fun!!!

So I call my mom and I'm like what's up? She say's she when she opens Internet Explorer it pops up for a second then goes right away. So after searching Google and uninstalling AIM which she said is when the problem started happening because it auto updated.

So at this point I'm really aggravated like as aggravated as the first time someone called me gay. So I'm like fuck it lets download Firefox. So I go and download Firefox and try emailing it through Gmail but Gmail doesn't allow you to send exe files so I zip it up. Again Gmail scans the zip file and says it won't send an exe file. I then try Yahoo Mail and this works! She gets the zip file and tries saving it by Outlook blocks her from saving it because it thinks its a virus. I do a Google search on why Outlook is blocking this I figure it out and finally she can save it and install Firefox.

After being on the phone for 1 hour and 16 minutes the problem is resolved. I think the moral of this story is don't ever let your parents get a computer. They didn't have them readily available in the 50's and 60's and they shouldn't have them in the 2000's!!! If you need computer tech support call me up 619-377-0593.

Love Tech Support,

Gregg

Earthquakes in California

I've lived in San Diego for almost 2 years and I haven't felt one damn earthquake! I thought California was the land of earthquakes, sun & beautiful people. Well it's definitely sunny and has a lot of purrrty people but earthquakes are non-existent.

I would be pretty scared if one those monster earthquakes happened. I remember watching television as a little tike and hearing about all these crazy death causing earthquakes. Then when I got older I started watching those Discovery shows where they show the destruction of an earthquake. I also started seeing more of those "end of the world" shows on Sunday nights on like ABC where they were like "California will have an earthquake with such magnitude that tidal waves and tsunami's will occur and everyone will die. At the time I was like a 12 year old kid and I'm like fucking A "I'm never ever going to California I don't wanna die!!!"

Even though I heard earthquakes were going to happen as I got older I cared less and less. Now I'm here and I haven't felt one freaking earthquake. I think they are California's way of trying to control over population. I know first hand that California is overpopulated. It's like everyone lives in the same area. There is tons of open land but everyone wants to live near the ocean.

California should put a PSA out to the rest of the country promoting the dessert & mountain areas. "Come to California and live in the dessert. Catch rattlesnakes, coyotes & a bad sunburn" or they could use the opposite "Come move to California and sit in 3 hours of traffic everyday & bask in our never ending attempts of finding a parking spot at Target on a Monday morning. All of this can be yours and 2 bedroom condo for just $600,000!"

I'm calling California out give me a fucking earthquake already!!!
just don't kill me with it...please

gso

Fohawk Twin Brothers

Most people never find their twin. The person that is not necessarily related to them by blood but related by looks. The same haircut, skin color, nose, smile etc...
I for instance feel like most Asian people look alike. You pick the Asian nationality and generally speaking most of them all look the same.

Well today a new guy named Brian started at my place of work. We always get new temps because of the turnover at my job. So I was told today that a new guy was starting and I'd be training him. I asked if he was Filipino b/c that's all they seem to hire at my job. They said he was white and that in the interview he and the manager were laughing the whole time.

I was like Fucking A! A new WHITE guy that is funny. That's competition for me at work and I don't need that kind of pressure. It's hard enough coming up with funny one liners and sayings that everyone at work will end up using.

So he got there at 8:00 am and instantly I notice he is white and he has the same freaking haircut as me. I'm like WTF?!?!? The dude is totally chill and cool. 30 minutes go by and literally 2 people come by say "is that your brotha?" and "dude he stole your fohawk?"
As the day goes on he and I go to lunch with some other co-workers. My co-worker Angelica is like "who is this?"
I'm like "oh it's my brother"
and she says "oh ya he has the same smile as you, I can see it"
ha ha we totally had her thinking it was my real life brother.

It's weird for this to happen to me because generally no one looks like me. It's hard for someone to live up to my standards because I'm basically a 9 on a scale of 1-10 and I'm talented and funny at least that's what Mom Dukes says. So for someone to even be compared to me if a compliment to them.

So it seems that even for us White muts we too can look alike. I might grow my hair out like those effected emo kids. The fohawk is a tough rep to uphold. A lot of us white kids have it because it extenuates our cheek bones and gives us that "I'm ready for anything crazy look as long as its not going to kill me"

gso

Back to the Gym

I'm still no where near my fighting weight so I've taken drastic steps to get myself to that plateau. I've been taking vitamins, drinking Crystal Light and running but it's just not enough. I've joined the YMCA with Emily so we can have sex longer and more passionately. Plus losing my stomach and being able to fit into that cute blouse I bought last spring will be a plus as well.

We joined the YMCA as a family. We a pay a total of $38/month with a $100 one time joiners fee. That's a lot better than 24 hour fitness where I alone was paying $41.99/month. The YMCA's machines are pretty old and some even say "Bally Fitness" on them and it's small but hell all the machines work. There's also an Olympic sized pool and hot tub. Though since I can't swim I don't think I'll be doing laps anytime soon in the pool unless I'm hanging onto someone's neck with floaties on my arms.

I want to make my ass a flat rock that any man or woman can enjoy sitting on. I want abs that I can proudly show off at a 50 year old and over resort. I want a body that works hard and plays hard. The kind of body that when it's laying in the sun shimmers like diamonds from the cocoa butter and olive oil I placed on it.

The last time I was in a Y was when my sister worked at one baby sitting kids there. I used to go with her because I was 15 year old boy with nothing better to do in the summertime. It was all teenage moms and their babies. The moms were freaking hot like moms from California except teenage moms if that makes any sense. California moms it seems don't age. Maybe it's the water or the fruit or maybe its the plastic surgery but they all have smoking bodies the Marlboro man would love to try in between his lips.

The ingredients to a healthy life are eating what you want but in moderation & working out at least 25 minutes a day. Sex counts as exercise unless you just lay their motionless waiting for the eruption of love to explode out of you like rushing rapids that burst over a waterfall.

gso

Ginger Ale: One Part Pepsi + One Part Sierra Mist

I went to Unos today to partake in a deep dish pizza. I haven't had a deep dish pizza since a friend of mine mailed me one back in 2005 and I haven't attended an Unos since 2004! Emily & I were at Fashion Valley Mall and we decided to get one of those always low fat deep dish pizzas. We ordered the Numero Uno pizza. It made me full after one piece just like Takeru Kobayashi after a hot dog eating contest . I love pizza it's one of my favorite comfort foods (like Rachel Ray likes to say). It makes me feel happy inside like an actress after a scene with Gary Coleman.

Our waiter was from Connecticut so he and I gushed a little bit about New England. Emily mentioned how every person that announces they are from New England out here in California is white. Well the reason everyone's white that is from New England and lives in California is because the white man is being held down back there and it's time for my people to rise up and we heard California is the place for some good uprising.

Remember I mentioned we were at the mall? Well I realized that the mall is a place an ugly poor person should not and cannot attend. The mall is for the mainstream, the skinny, the anorexic & the sexy. The girls show skin and the boys wear 2 lbs of cologne. I'm not ugly but I'm poor so it was ok for me to attend. I wasn't wearing 2 lbs of cologne either because I'm trying to lose weight and the cologne just weighs me down.

Mystery Dinner Theatre anyone?

gso

Benihana 6 Months Later

First let me explain what Benihana is. Benihana is a Japanese Steakhouse & Sushi restaurant where the chef cooks right at your table. He does all kinds of tricks.

The last time I went to Benihana I was just barely dating Emily. I went to Benihana with my friend Becca. My life 6 months ago was completely different than it is today. I was smoking cigarettes, robbing muthafuckas of their loot & throwing up to stay in shape. Erica and Stowie were still my roommates, I was playing music & I had a 1998 Honda Civic. I also probably had a cold and some kind of oral sore.

Fast forward six months and I stopped cigarettes, robbing muthafuckas & throwing up. I don't live with Erica and Stowie, I don't play music & I drive a 2006 Honda Civic. I went to Benihana with Emily, Bill Herzog & his fiance Hope. The cold and oral sore are gone as well :)

The last time I went the chef was really good with his tricks but the food was ehhhhh just ok. Today's chef was the complete opposite. He didn't do many tricks but the food was better than drinking a warm glass of water on a cold day.

I'm such a picky eater. A lot of the courses have seafood in them or they are some vegetable that I have no interest in eating. So I basically ate a ton of rice with soy sauce, Sprite, chicken breast and steak. Benihana is a very enjoyable place to eat and entertain thoughts of suicide, I mean and keep friends & family entertained.

So if you ever go to Benihana bring your appetite cause they give you a lot of food and your wallet because it's pretty expensive. It cost $135 for 4 adults and that doesn't include tip. Fucking YIKES!!!

Thank God I have this website to fall back on financially!

Gregg

Wii Donation Fund

What you don't know what a Wii is? The Wii is Nintendo's next video game system! It's crazy cool. The controller looks like a remote for a TV. You're not only pressing A & B on the controller anymore but you're also swinging, slashing, waving & doing whatever else you can do with it. It has a motion sensor so if you're playing a baseball game you swing the controller like a bat. It's pretty cool. I haven't wanted anything this bad since earlier this week when Apple released the
new iPod Nanos.

The Nintendo Wii comes out November 19 and costs $249.99. You can't think I have that kind of money with the job I have. I'm poor like a squirrel at the end of winter. I've been racking the change deposits from phone booths and eating less just to save some money for the Wii.

Thanks RockStarMommy for the idea! The only difference is she's giving away boobie pics in return for donations to get breast implants.

So let's work together and make a 26 year old BOY happy. This just may be the last time he ever asks for anything ever again.

Click here to donate and help me get a Nintendo Wii

What do you get you ask? You get a signed 4 X 6 photo of me if you donate more than $5


Thank you for your support may God bless you like he never has before!

Gregory Shane O'Connell

Top 10 Men's Grooming Products at Drugstore.com

The top 10 men's grooming products at drugstore.com says a lot about men in general. It makes us look like sexaholics and perverts. Not that there is anything wrong with perverts except the ones that touch little kids. Those dudes should get their testicles cut off and sent to Northern Korea where those people can mix it with some soup.

Out of the top 10 products 6 of them are different types and brands of condoms. So not only do we like to have sex a lot but we like to have sex with a lot of different women regularly. We practice safe sex and we are willing to use lambskin condoms for those lady friends that we have sex with that are allergic to latex. This definitely shows that us men are considerate of our partners health and well being.

No the considerate kind beings we men are doesn't stop there. We like to make sure our partners are having as much pleasure we are. If you look at the other 4 products they are lubricants. You don't think we want to chafe away our Willy Wonka's in one night of blissful pleasure. The lub might also show our laziness. We won't need to do any fore play. We can use the lub and get right to the gooey goodness.

In conclusion the age old tale of all men do is think about sex maybe right after all. Drugstore.com is not only a store it seems but also a social experiment. From regular condoms to pleasure filled condoms to lubricants to bodyglide. All men want out of life is pleasure and physical gratification.

	product name		size		savings	Price	buy
	1. Astroglide Personal Lubricant in stock		5 oz	On Sale!	save 17% ($2.00)	$9.99
	2. K-Y Jelly, Personal Lubricant in stock		4 oz			$5.19
	3. Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex Condoms in stock		24 ea		save 8% ($1.40)	$15.89
	4. Trojan Ultra Thin Lubricated Latex Condoms in stock		36 ea		save 14% ($3.30)	$20.29
	5. K-Y Touch Massage 2-in-1 Warming Body Massage & Lubricant Variety Pack in stock		1 set		save 16% ($1.90)	$9.99
	6. Trojan Naturalamb Natural Skin Lubricated Condoms in stock		12 ea		save 13% ($5.10)	$33.99
	7. Eros Bodyglide in stock		3.4 fl oz		save 15% ($3.21)	$18.79
	8. Durex Pleasure Pack, Assorted Styles in stock		12 ea		save 19% ($2.40)	$9.99
	9. Crown Natural Rubber Latex Condoms, Lightly Lubricated in stock		15 ea	On Sale!	save 30% ($1.80)	$4.19
	10. Durex Avanti Superthin Lubricated Non-Latex Condoms in stock		6 ea		save 11% ($1.30)	$10.79