Cigarettes & Pee

I was going to a cookout today and before the cookout I had to pick up my buddy Seth. Well he lives on the left side of the street with a side street right next to his house. So as I was about to turn into the side street there was a girl about to cross. I motioned to the girl that it was ok for her to cross the street. She said no no no you can go ahead so I was like ok whatever I'll go.

As I began to turn into the side street and pass the girl I hear "Hey excuse me" I stop and and I go "yeah" ..."Umm can you give me a ride up the street to the next light?"
The girl is crazy looking. Black hair, big boned aka fat, burn marks all over her arms, etc... So I'm like well I going somewhere with my buddy and I don't know which direction we are going. Which was a lie haha I totally thought she was going to pull a gun on me and try and steal my new Honda Civic. She even goes "I'm not a prostitute so no worries" haha Fuckin A the girl looks more like a fuckin fat ass crackhead than one of those healthy sexy looking prostitutes.

So anyways Seth comes to the car and she asks him if it's ok for us to drive her and he says it's Gregg's car ask him so I'm like yeah I guess it's ok. I tell her to get into the back and Seth will sit in the front. Now this is where it gets fucking weird. She starts into this story about how she never gets into the back seats of Honda Civics because the last time she did she got into a car accident and had to have brain surgery. Haha I'm like well its either in the back seat or I'm not driving you. Now Seth being the pushover he is says he will get into the back and she can get into the front. She offers me gas money for a 200 yard car drive I'm like um no it's ok.

She gets into the front seat and I instantly start smelling old cigarettes and pee. I drove her literally 200 yards which took less than a minute. She got out says thanks and we continue onto our destination. We both look at each other and we're like damn that chick smelled so nasty and we can still smell her leftover cigarettes and pee. I had to bust open an air freshener to kill her death smell.

The moral to this story is NEVER give anyone a ride anywhere that has burn marks on their arms and starts telling you stories of why they can't sit in a particular part of the car. Otherwise your car will smell like piss and cigarettes.

gso