Erica & Stowie Have Moved Out Officially

It's been a week of "official" announcements. RSM officially admitted defeat and now Erica & Stowie have officially moved out of the apartment I shared with them.

It was definitely time for Erica and I to not live with one another. We've lived together since 2002 and even after we broke up we still lived together. She was sick of me and wanted a place of her own and she found just that.

She found a place more in the inner city and it's about 15 minutes away from where I live. When I first checked out this place she moved into 2 weeks ago it had a note on the door that read "Please keep this door shut as there have been multiple burglaries in this apartment in the last few months." That would scare the shit out of me but she has decided to stick with the apartment and try it out.

I'm really going to miss her dog Stowie. I've been with him his entire 2 1/2 years of life. I'll miss his energy and kisses. I'll still see him when Erica works her 2nd job at night and drops him off but it's not the same. Him being gone makes me want to get another dog so Herbie doesn't get crazy bored.

Emily will start moving her stuff into the apartment on August 27. So until then it looks as if Herbie & I have an empty apartment all to ourselves. If you'd like to send Herbie & I get well cards you can to gregg@greggoconnell.com.

Lonely & Sad,
gso + Herbie

P.S.
we miss you Stow Stow!

Screwing with Filipinos at Lunch

My department is broken up into 6 different groups. Out of about 50 employees probably 15-20 of them are Filipino. One of the groups which has 5 employees are all Filipino and are all from the Philippines. Their English is ok but not as good as someone that has lived her for their entire life which is understandable.

This same group always eat lunch at 11:00 am and ALWAYS sit at the same lunch table. They all share lunch together. It's usually something fish based and always with white rice. I've been thinking lately what I could do to fuck with them and mess up their monotony. I was originally thinking of taking an early lunch and sitting at their table before them and see what they say. Ha ha they would definitely tell me to move. We call them the "Filipino Mafia" because they all stick together and if one hates you then they all hate you and vice versa.

I decided on writing a letter and leaving it on the table they sit at. It was going to say the table is reserved for someone else and to please not sit there. Now this is very ridiculous because no one ever reserves lunch tables because there are always plenty of tables. But I knew they would believe the letter. The letter I wrote is completely absurd ha ha. Here it is:

"THIS TABLE IS RESERVED FOR A
PIZZA PARTY TODAY @ 11:05 AM.
PLEASE RESPECT OUR WISHES AND
SIT AT ANOTHER TABLE SO MY
GROUP CAN ENJOY A RIGHTEOUS
PIZZA PARTY.

THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION

Soandso Onthego"

Look at the name So And So On The Go
haha!

When I went out to the cafeteria for lunch I found that they actually were sitting at a different table. When they went back to work after lunch my co-worker Curly John told them that I had written the note. So when I got back one of the women came up to me in her heavy accent and says
"What you jealous?" "I know that was joke no one ever reserve table in lunch room" She was so pissed I loved it! I'm so fuckin immature!!!

My experiment worked! They actually can function and eat at a different lunch table.

gso

RockStarMommy.com OFFICIALLY Admits Defeat

In the public forum that is the internet. RockStarMommy.com of Philadelphia, PA has officially given up, backed down, admitted defeat in our war of words on the internet.
The big bang went down yesterday when I continued to post comments on her website about how she is conceited and a whiny person (hmm haha sounds like someone else too) Some of my co-workers joined in the fight yesterday against RockStarMommy.com after reading her website and seeing how crazy/annoying/conceited she really is. She may officially be worse than me in relation to internet addiction. We were posting comments and then literally 2 minutes after posting them she deleted them or edit them. She blamed me for all the comments made even though I was only to blame for the ones that showed my name.

She threatened to ban me from her website because she couldn't fight back. It was literally her and her married 20ish year old white overweight mother fans against lonely me. And she still couldn't come back with anything that was funny or interesting. The best thing they came up with is "Gregg O'Commentwhore" and I must admit that was pretty good. I may just buy the domain name.

By the end of the day RockStarMommy.com banned me from her website. But this didn't last for long as she found out. I can still visit her website and post comments by connecting to her site via a proxy server.

Thanks for the easy fight and win. You showed no heart or sense of humor and the fans of your website can surely see that. I am undefeated in internet wars of words and I challenge anyone to a duel!

Bring it RockStarMommy.com fans because I already brought it! ohhhhhhhhhh shooooooooot!

O'Connell Rules!

gso

Saint's Row

As you all know I love video games. I waited like 17 hours in line in November 2005 in order to get an Xbox 360 for launch. There's been a few good games for Xbox 360 but mostly a lot of them have been mediocre games. Saint's Row is basically a carbon copy of Grand Theft Auto except a little more raunchy. I've played the demo and it's an awesome game.

In Saint's Row you can smoke weed & drink alcohol. When you take in these adult drugs the screen gets blurry. If you intake too much of that stuff you start to throw up. I love doing things I did when I was 14 years old. You really can't beat driving around in a car hitting random people or driving head on into another car and watching that car flip over. You can run up to people on the street and shoot them in the head or beat them down with a baseball bat. It's super violent but very fun. Violence is always fun when there are no consequences.

I'm the last person in the world to hit someone haha but to be able to do it in virtual reality is a lot of fun. Video games don't make people violent - they way they were brought up and the experiences they went through growing up makes them a violent person.

Love is God,
Gregg

Karaoke is DEFINITELY for Asians

On Friday night a co-worker of mine threw a little get together at her house after work. First off she is Asian, Filipino to be exact and was born in the Philippines. And as you know Asian people LOVE karaoke. They sing it at bars, parties, alone at their house.

So on Friday my co-worker friend Angelica had us over for dinner and karaoke. I had never been to a party that had karaoke as the main form of entertainment. I got there and another one of my co-workers was singing at the top of her lungs some cheesy adult love song. You know one of those songs that makes you want to kill yourself. Something Vanessa Williams might sing.

As the night went on more and more cheesy love songs were sung by my Asian counterparts. You would never find a white American family singing karaoke in their living room passing the microphone back and forth between family members. White people are very up tight in regards to singing/dancing unless they are intoxicated. Asian people can sit around karaoking (I think I made this word up) all night screaming out that their heart is broken from a lover that hurt them so bad that they can't bare to live another day so they just want to die. Those kind of songs are Asian favorites!

I made a complete mockery of the whole thing. Seth and I were dueting on songs both of us could barely sing. We sang Y.M.C.A by The Village People, Superstition by Stevie Wonder, Power of Love by Huey Lewis & many more songs. By the end of the night my voice was shot and my pride was bruised. Well ok my pride wasn't bruised but I did have a lot of fun singing karaoke in someone's living room with a bunch of people watching. It's definitely much easier and fun dueting on songs. I'd feel like a complete asshole and shy if I was singing alone. Karaoke is hard!

So I've come to the conclusion that "Karaoke is DEFINITELY for Asians". It seems more fitting to the lifestyle they lead. You know white rice, fish & karaoke go very well together. White people can stick to sporting programs & buffalo wings as party entertainment.

I don't think personally I would ever get a karaoke machine for my house to use at parties but I would definitely join in on one if it were at a party. The next party I go to will probably be like a year from now since I don't like people or parties. So please so one please throw a karaoke party so I can attend and dance and sing the night away like a young Asian girl.

Sing! Sing! Sing!
Gregg

Mr. Nature Part II (Video + Photos)

Remember like 1 week ago I was complaining about how I bought some nuts out of the vending machine at work and they were soft. (Mr. Nature Has Soft Old Nuts)

Well when I got home today I got a little tag from UPS that said I had missed them and they had a package for me. At first I thought the package was Emily's birthday present I ordered from online but that's not coming for a few more days. So I decided to call UPS and find out who it was from.

"Hello UPS can I have your info #..." "Yes it's blah blah blah ...can you tell me who that package is from" ...
"Yes sir it's from Mr. Natsato"
"Who?!?!"
"Mr. Nature"
"Oh ok can I pick up the package"
"Yes!"

So I go pick up the package at UPS around 8 pm. When I get home I open the box and I find like literally 15 different package of nuts from Mr. Nature along with a letter saying sorry.

I was shocked that they actually sent me a box full of nuts, a letter & did this all in less than a week from receiving my letter. They obviously care about their customers. Mr. Nature was right when he said "Good Nuts are Good Health"

Checkout the photoset

Download the video "Mr. Nature Strikes Back"

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I don't really have a lisp it just sounds like that in the video cause the camera we used is weird. It does make the video funny though!

Flame War: RockStarMommy.com vs. GreggOConnell.com

I am in the middle of a heated "Flame War" with RockStarMommy.com. What's a flame war you ask? Well its "When an online discussion degenerates into a series of personal attacks against the debaters, rather than discussion of their positions. A heated exchange."

It all started when I began posting comments with my website address on her flickr page. She started posting back comments back to me calling me "40 year old virgin" b/c of my photoset of wrestling action figures.

When she started attacking me on flickr I ventured over to her website RockStarMommy.com to see what was going on over there. I instantly saw she was getting a shit load of comments and all of them are from her friends kissing her ass. "You're so hot" "I love your boobs" "you got a great rack" "you look fantastic in that photo". I mean come on how much ass kissing can one person handle. Damn I would kill for that kind of ass kissing but I don't get it b/c you dick4's (that's a compliment) don't post anything on my site.

I started commenting that all her fans of her site are ass kissers and that RockStarMommy is conceited and full of herself (I know I am too). Man I got flamed in every which direction. People began to threaten to hack my website, they started making website names up like "Greg-let-me-pimp-my-fucking-site-just-one-more-time-oconnel!", they also said
"Gregg O'Commentwhore is just jealous that you won't share your readers.".

I mean come on where my soldiers at? I need some help fighting these hooligans. They are all like 25 year old married lladies with kids and have been that way for a few years. Don't they have kids to take car of or asses to wipe or jobs to go to type documents at.

I hope the war continues because she's sending over some very nice traffic my way.
Thanks RockStarMommy!
Love you're newest enemy!

gregg

How to Wash your Hair (Video)

I'm the king of "How to" videos. Sure most if not all of them suck, but they are fun to make! Especially for that percentage of the population that doesn't know how to do certain things and then you have me showing them just how to do it!

In this "how to" video I get naked, nude, wet, soapy & showered all over my pale white body. I show you how to wash your hair. You get tips in what shampoo/conditioner to use, what methods to use when washing, how to rinse the soap out and you get to see my shoulders a lot!

If you like naked 26 year old guys in the shower than this is your video!

Download "How to wash your Hair"

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Stream it below

My Bachelor's Life has Ended

My days as a bachelor ended on Saturday August 5, 2006 @ 9:48 pm when Emily arrived back safely from her Hawaiian escape. I want to thank all of you who supported me and for the 2 of you that hung out with me in my time of need(ing attention).

While she was away I got back into my routine of running (from the cops) more often and eating a lot less fast food and soda. I feel more energetic physically and I'm ready to face my demons of eating bad and working out less head on. I'm going to force Em and I to be the couple that won't stop running until our little 10 ounce hearts stop beating, our lungs don't fill up with oxygen anymore and we pass away from heat exhaustion.

I'm going to try and hangout with friends more than I have. I always want to spend every last minute of free time I have with Em. I need to not forget the little people that praise me and believe I am the one. The "one" what you ask? The "one" true being in San Diego. I'm more honest than Pastor Miles McPherson (he lies to get young adults to go to his church so that he makes more money - it's a fuckin cult watch out!!!) from the Rock Church & more obedient than a police dog. I'll make your dreams come true more often than Regis Philbin and I'll direct you to more good restaurants than Sign on San Diego.

Ok I'll stop! I'm starting to annoy myself too. It's nice to have Em back. She's my own Barbara Bush. She keeps me steady when times are fucked.

the myth buster,
gso

Mr. Nature has Soft Old Nuts

Dear Mr. Nature,

I recently purchased a pack of your unsalted energizer mix. I regret to inform you that while eating the nuts in the package I found them to be rather soft, wet and definitely without the satisfaction of crunch that always comes from eating nuts. I've purchased your products in the past and found them to be satisfactory. I've included the package as proof of purchase. I'm a big fan of nuts and these definitely didn't live up to my expectations. May God bless each and every one of you that works at Mr. Nature. I hope and pray that no one else ever has to go through what I went through. Being unsatisfied is one of life's great down falls. Please feel free to contact me via mail, email or phone I'd love to hear from you guys. Keep up the good work with everything else.


I mailed Mr. Nature this complaint today. I'm hoping my 39 cent postage investment will pay off with some coupons but to also improve quality control at Mr. Nature. So watchout for Mr. Nature's nuts they don't perform to the expectations of other nuts & I know my nuts!

gregory

Online Background Checks

I've been hearing a lot lately on the news and internet of employers doing background checks on potential employees by doing a Google search of their name and a Myspace name search to see what they come up with. They're looking for revealing photos, comments & blogs.

Obviously not everyone a company hires is a saint. People like to have fun and party. But is there partying weekend personality that shows up online in a photo gallery a good representation of the kind of worker they are? Not at all I know plenty of people that get wasted every weekend and come in Monday morning ready to kick ass and laugh at my jokes.

I would never ever want to work for a company that went that in depth with a background check. Damn if you do a online search of my name you'll come up with some interesting stuff; everything from sexy dance videos to podcasts to weird photos of me to twisted testicle stories. Does any of this show the kind of worker I am? No! I go to work and get my shit done. If a company found my website and saw something they didn't like and told me to take it down I wouldn't. It's free speech I can say and do basically whatever I want just like its their right to fire me if they'd like to over anything. I would feel like such a pussy if I bowed down to a company over my website. My website is my outlet of emotions. It's my whining board. It's my platform to express myself anyway I want. I love my website so fuck companies that do online background checks and long live Dr. Martin Luther King!

Fighting for your First Amendment,
gso

Fatter but Happier

I've always gained and lost wait my entire adult life. I fluctuate from 170-200 with ease. 170 is definitely my fighting weight. I haven't had any fights but 170 is a weight that definitely maximizes my sexy.

I never really worked out when I lived in Massachusetts. The most exercise I would get would be walking the dogs or humping the bed at night. It wasn't until I moved to San Diego and saw the beautiful bodies and felt the beautiful weather that I was motivated to work out. It's like summer everyday of the year here so it's hard to not feel like doing something that's active.

I joined 24 hour fitness and in my hey day of California living I was going to the gym 6 days a week and not eating fast food. I was at my lowest weight of about 167 lbs. I was sexy, hairless, danced like Lance Bass & was a Rawk God!

After doing the gym thing for like 6 months straight. I started getting bored like I do with most things that aren't my dog, the internet, video games & music. I went into a state of laying around the house, watching reality TV & eating Doritos, drinking soda, eating fast food & oh yeah I met Emily :)

Emily is awesome she totally supports anything I do and she also some very BAD EATING HABITS like me. She loves all the same bad food I do: burgers, pizza, pasta, subs, fries, etc...
We must be the king & queen of eating unhealthy. The thing is she can eat this crap and not gain a pound. Her little Filipino body can taking a beating and still look like it did when she got off the boat. As for me put a 12 inch hot dog in my mouth and I'm all excited I mean fat. :P
White people's gene's suck compared to Asians. We die earlier, we age quicker & we gain weight easier. Asians are God's perfectly created little bodies.

These days I'm running almost 2 miles a day, then walking the dogs after. I'm trying to cut down on soda, fast food & chips. I'm fatter but I'm more happy.

gso

I Smell Like Glue

I don't smell like glue 24/7 but I guess do when I sweat according to Emily. I can kind of see it well smell the relation of my summertime sweat to glue. The thing is no one ever before Emily said I smell like glue when I sweat.

Is it natural to smell like glue? I looked up the origins of glue and here is what Wikipedia says;
"Historically, glue only refers to protein colloids prepared from animal tissues. The meaning has been extended to any type of glue-like substances that are used to attach one material to another."
Animal tissue? I smell like pieces of animal?!?! haha that's Fuckin' gross!

The summertime swetas me up big time with its warm days & hot strong sun. I can go from taking a cold shower (to kill my erection obviously) to instantly beginning to sweat 5 minutes later. I can mask my armpits with deodorant. As for the rest of my body I only occasionally use cologne (Happy by Clinque) so the glue smell comes off my glistening hot drenched sweaty body. I guess I could get Axe which is a body deodorant spray but it smells like a rip off cologne or musky. Who wants to smell like musk ewwww that's old man smell and I'm only 26. I might as well start using Old Spice as my cologne & Brut as my aftershave.

I'll just wait for the summer to be over. Hell its not so bad its only 55 more days of smelling like glue.

Here's to a Sucker Free Sunday,
gso

Girlfriend's in Hawaii: Time to Party?

I always get myself into these predicaments where I hangout with my girlfriend so much that I kind of lose touch with my friends. I always do it but don't get me wrong I have a lot of fun with Emily.

Emily is in Hawaii for 10 days for her cousins wedding. This leaves me with 10 days of unadulterated fun right? Well not so much b/c Emily has been my fun for the last 5 months! So I need to RE-LEARN how to be a person again :). For next 10 days I have no one to go to dinner with, movies (thanks but no thanks Bill Miami Vice Sucks!), have naked fun with or any of that stuff!

I'm stuck with myself as my enjoyment. So basically I've been playing video games, sweating on the couch, sweating in my bedroom, running @ night with Herbie, walking Herbie & Stowie & going to work.

I should join some club while she is gone. If I joined a club it would be something totally stupid and nerdy like "Mini-Schnauzer Dog Club of Point Loma" actually! I should start that club. It would probably only consist of Herbie & I but you never know. Maybe Erica would join too since her dog Stowie is half Mini-Schnauzer!

Tomorrow's activities will kill some of the boredom: Seth's birthday cookout in Mission Beach!

with much admiration & support,
gso

Magic! The Amazing Hovering Leaf (Video)

Watch in amazement as the Mysterious (and often misunderstood) Gregg O'connell suspends a leaf in mid-air. Yes it's true the strapping young man with a devilish charm can also sing, dance and now perform magic tricks as well. You should be envious of his girlfriend...Thanks for visiting greggoconnell.com
comments are most welcome. If you comment I'll perform magic that's never been seen or heard of before!

Download "The Amazing Hovering Leaf"

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gso